


Levi x Reader: Remind Me to Breathe

by SmexyLeviLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, smexylevilover levi x reader highschool au modern fanfic fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2168037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmexyLeviLover/pseuds/SmexyLeviLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi x Reader Fantasy High School AU: Reader is a 17 year old high school student who fights to support her living. She's always had inhuman strength, but she hates fighting. Her strength is what ended up in her mother being killed by people who wanted to kidnap the Reader and her brother (Eren) being taken away from her into another family for protection. Anyways, one day, she's participating in an underground tournament for a big prize of $10,000. Her last match is against a dark-haired, short-statured man who is known around as the strongest fighter. His name is Levi, and he ends up winning and claims Reader's body as his prize. He drags her to a room where she is introduced to a group of students known as the Survey Corps. They request her help in defeating a common enemy who is after people who have special "powers" like them and reader. Reader is forced to join their gang and must now partner up with strangers in order to fight against these so-called Titan enemies!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Levi x Reader: Remind Me to Breathe 1

"__________, it's already 40 minutes into first period. If you're going to fight in the morning, can't you at least finish early enough to get to school on time?" Petra sighed as she wrapped a white bandage around my forearm. "Seriously, how do you even manage to make up all the missed classes?"

"Don't even remind me," I groaned, as Petra kept bandaging. I spent my time staring at her name engraved on her white coat until my body tensed in the plastic chair I sat in.  "Ouch, that hurts!" I whined when she tightened the scratchy material. "Geez, why can't you buy a softer wrap or something?"

Petra's eyelashes fell over her dark eyes in vexation. Her arms crossed over her pearl button up shirt. "The school doesn't allocate enough funds and I'm not willing to spend my personal money on students who go and get themselves beaten up," Petra answered curtly as her ruby high heels tapped over to the medicine cabinet. She popped open a bottle and handed me a blue tablet and a white cup. "Take that for the pain. Water's over there," she said, pointing to the the transparent jug at the corner of the room near the window. Petra was our "beloved" high school nurse. To all the fucking students who fall for her angelic smile, I pity you all. Petra was more of a straight-to-business, no-nonsense person, and she wasn't the type to bullshit around with gentle, fake smiles. But that was the type of person I preferred anyways.

I heaved my heavy body and pressed down on the spout as water splashed about the inside of the small cup. Tossing the tablet in my mouth, I downed the water, crushed the now empty cup, and threw it in the trash. 

"So why did this fight take so long?" Petra questioned, her auburn hair slipping from behind her ears and hugging her cheeks. She was bent over her desk writing a tardy note. 

"Well, there's not much I can do if the challenge letter states the time for the fight is 30 minutes before our high school starts. Not to mention, it was signed by one person but a dozen showed up, those goddamn bratty, uncivilized thugs," I muttered hatefully, crossing my arms over my black hoodie as I leaned back over the cold counter.

High school always started earlier than middle school, and I should have known that my challengers this time would be a bunch of cocky 13 year old wannabes who thought they could mess with the motherfucking strongest fighter in the district. They came prepared, even packed their weapons of choice: Bats, hockey sticks, knives, swords, and my favorite, fists.

"So how much this time?" Petra asked as she straightened her black pencil skirt and handed me that familiar orange note. I slipped it into the back pocket of my sapphire skinny jeans. I noticed that she was just so full of questions today, strangely enough.

Before I could answer, the room suddenly filled with an obnoxious ringing, signaling the end of first period. I winced not from the repetitive buzzing in my ears but from the memory of how much money I was able to pickpocket off of those poor suckers. My initial goal when they came at me was only to scare and bully them into emptying their wallets. So when those brats did attack, my inhuman strength blew each and every one of them away just as I predicted. What I didn't predict however was that they wouldn't be able to get back up again. It was like one of those elderly "Help me. I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercials. Since I was rushed for time, I was forced to skim the pockets of their limp bodies and search for their leather pockets myself. 

So I suppose it's fair to say that I may or may not have gone a little too far.

Whoops.

Either way, from about 12 knocked out kids, I earned maybe....$30 together. This would be enough to last for maybe about a week of food, but nowhere enough to pay off this month's rent.

"Not much. I need you to hook me up, Petra. Are there any fights coming up?"

The money to pay for my apartment rent often came from the illegal cage fights I won in the underground. Once in a blue moon, the cash prizes would be huge, enough to pay for almost 6 months of rent, but so far, I hadn't encountered a cage fighting tournament I could get access to like that. You needed to be someone "special" to get in those cages. Funny enough, I guess I wasn't special enough yet even though I was easily the strongest fighter in the district. My participation in the underground cage fights was too sporadic since my involvement solely depended on whether or not my landlord would give me a break for rent. I wasn't going to be too lucky this month though. Damn my land lord.

Petra studied my weary face before sighing. "I hear there's a tournament tonight with a huge cash prize. It's open to anyone, but they've keep keeping the passcode on the DL. Go to the regular website but use the password SHIVERS1." She wrote the password on the back of an empty tardy slip so that I could see the typing specifications. She then ripped the form in small pieces and dumped it in the small grey trash can.

"But there's also a well-known fighter who's making an appearance," she continued. "I know him, ________, and I doubt you'll win this one."

The 5 minute bell rang, signaling the beginning of second period. "Psh, someone stronger than me? Ha, let's not even joke." I waved to her. "See ya, Petra. Thanks for the bandages."

I paced my way through the halls, dark shadows forming under my eyes. I detested fighting. Every battle felt like being thrown against a wall of pain, a constant reminder of who I've become. My inhuman strength awakened when I was 11, something I had inherited from my mother. Everything in my family was peaceful until I turned 14 years old. My life was suddenly targeted by some insane man. My mother protected me and died as a result, and my younger brother Eren, who had no powers, has hated me since. I can't blame him though. I was useless to protect Mom. Eren has ignored me since, and I stopped trying to contact him years ago. He lives with my maternal grandparents who carry an equal hatred for me, since I'm the one who stole their daughter away from them. 

I've been alone for almost 3 years now, and my past is still unforgotten. It feels like I'm constantly filled with an uncontrollable wrath for the cards I've been dealt in this world. Why am I always the one they pick fights with? Why am I always at the center of this chaos? Why was I given these unwanted, undesired powers? When I ask all these questions, my eyes light up with a rage that consumes my being, and my fists clench in a desperate struggle to hold back the imminent will to destroy those who stand before me.

I'm amazed that I haven't choked someone yet with my own two hands.

The long, empty hallway came to an end as I reached the classroom. All eyes laid on me as I entered, but the teacher soon returned to his lecture. I was a well-known miscreant, and the teacher had long stopped trying to turn me into a model student. Pretty much no one spoke to me at school, but it's not like that was anything new considering the way my family treated me. I'm about 100% positive that the students around me thought I hurt myself with the number of new wounds that appeared on my arm each week. I don't care about it much. It was my business and it's not like anyone bothered to ask for clarification. I slid my way from the back of the classroom into my seat, all the way in the back corner next to the windows. Pulling out my phone, I quickly typed in a web address into the search box: www.combat_and_tophats.net.

Don't ask about the stupid address. From what I hear, the guy in charge of these tournaments wears a top-hat and goes by the name Kenny. I've never met him in person though.

A page appeared asking for a password key. I typed in: SHIVERS1 and was taken to the front page with announcements and dates for the fights. Just like Petra had mentioned, there was a big cage fight going down tonight with a cash prize of $10,000. My eyes marveled at the money. This was enough to pay for almost a year of rent with money left over for food also. There was one catch though. Supposedly, a famous fighter with the nickname, Humanity's Strongest, was also going to participate. I had heard other fighters talk about him, how he had disappeared from cage fights almost a year ago and how he beat the shit out of opponents twice his size, but I wasn't scared. No, there were much scarier things in this world than an over-powered midget. I was going to win the prize and not have to worry about apartment rent for a good 365 days, damnit.

\---------------

Petra held her phone to her ear. "I gave her the passcode, and I'm sure she'll participate in the cage fight. But I need to confirm, is that really what ________'s grandfather said, Erwin?"

The voice on the other line replied. "Yes, he told us we can do whatever we want with her. We want to take her into our organization and hone her skills. We've observed her for a few weeks. She has potential to be a great soldier."

"I see...I was worried when her grandfather told me that he had sold _______ to someone. He's always looked at her as a nuisance, but I'm relieved to know she'll be in your care. She's been honing her skills with street fights, but she needs real training. Otherwise, her powers will get out of control."

"We have someone. You still remember Levi, right?" the man named Erwin asked. "I'm sure you've heard that he's joined us now. He will be able to guide her properly."

"Alright. I trust you guys. Tell Levi to go easy on her in the tournament. I'm surprised you're using this cage fight rather than just approaching her in her apartment," Petra stated.

"We considered approaching her in public or at her home but determined that things could get dangerous if she decided to resist. At least she can't escape from the cage," Erwin responded. "As for whether Levi will go easy on her or not, it'll depend on how strong ________ is."

"She banged up her right arm this morning. Use that to your advantage. I don't think she'll be too keen on joining you at first, but give her some time."

"Understood. Hey Petra, I've been meaning to ask. Are you still not going to fight anymore?"

A frown found itself on Petra's mouth as she remembered watching her comrades die, and how her healing powers weren't strong enough to save them.

These were memories she would never forget since nightmares plagued her every night. Her flawless makeup would erase the evidence the next morning, making the bags under her eyes vanish in this air. "I don't know, Erwin. I'll think about it."

"I see," Erwin replied. "I wish you well, Petra. Remember, if you need a home, you can find it in the Survey Corps."                 

\-----------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS: DEDICATED TO MY LOVELY FRIEND @kelpo00 :3 I still can't thank you enough!

And to @kissmeyoufoolfanfict : Now, lemme tell you. This bitch right here (So let's all give a round of applause to BIFFEL BITCH @kissmeyoufoolfanfict for helping me make this chapter happen XD She's got a trashy heart, but I like trash :)

And yup, you heard me right! This reader is the epitome of middle school Smexy-chan so just remember that if you're going to critique the character, it's gonna be personal. LOL JK, but really though, go easy on me :')

1\. Updates will be a bit sporadic because of medical school, but I will always update! But since Ch. 2 is halfway done, I expect it out by this weekend!  
2\. Reader is 17, Eren is 15 currently. ( i think lol)  
3\. Vic/slave this weekend also!  
4\. Anyone into Petra's attitude?


	2. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AHHH. medical school is KILLING MEEEE.
> 
> yes, in this series, Levi and reader will fall in love but this is supposed to be a slow but powerful love :) I know it's not my usual Pervy comedy but I'd like to just expand my writing also. Will probably do a lemon at the end XD can't resist
> 
> but but but as always, let me know your honest opinion! Thank you, and enjoy! I'm doing my best to improve my writing and hope it shows through this! :)

Chapter 2

Two pairs of eyes watched from the rooftop as a circle of young thugs gathered around a girl. Their weapons flared in the sunlight, especially the revolver one boy had behind his back.

"Oi, Erwin, you don't think we should warn her about the gun?" the shorter male, to whom the the narrow, steel pair of eyes belonged to, asked his companion. The coursing wind brushed the black hair that laid over his grey undercut and raised his green cloak in the air, revealing two wings to the sky.

The same emblem, a blue wing and a white wing, rested on the back of the green cloak worn by his taller superior. This blonde haired man named Erwin cast his blue eyes over the scene.

"If she can't handle a simple bullet, then she's not worth the trouble of bringing her into the Survey Corps, Levi," Erwin responded.

Levi studied the girl before him. She had already engaged in combat, proceeding to wipe the floor with the boys. There were perhaps a dozen or so, but she was agile, moving like water between her enemies. The one with the revolver didn't even have time to take the gun out as a friend's body tumbled straight into him. 

"You're quite ruthless for someone who grew up in such a sunny society," Levi said while still watching the scene.

The taller man gazed on confidently. "Ruthless may be your interpretation, but I perceive myself as resolute instead. Being raised in what you call that 'sunny society' has only given me hope to change the cruelties of the world."

Levi focused on his superior, as if judging the weight of his words by the look in Erwin's eyes. There was no hesitation. Erwin's muscular chest faced forward with his green Wings of Freedom cloak falling on his shoulders. He appeared as a giant even against the tall buildings. But it wasn't his figure that was intimidating. It was his eyes, eyes that carried a vision of justice.

\-----------------

Entering the ring always felt the same. The musky, sweaty air would make anyone's nostrils flare as heat circulated from the crowd. And I was no exception.

My hoodie only added to the layers of sweat that drenched my body, and my tight capris hugged my legs as the hood of my sweater shrouded my face. It wasn't a good idea to reveal your identity at a cage fight. Some fighters were vengeful and could target you on the streets if they knew your face. I had heard more than stories. I had seen it happen. The winner walking out with a gleeful smile plastered on his face as a group of thugs surrounded him in a dark alley. Lucky for him, I was in a giving mood. (And even if I wasn't, I don't particularly enjoy the poor sportsmanship.)

From the start of the matches at 10 pm until now, 1 am, I was the last one remaining in the cage. The way cage fighting worked down here was that 2 people started in the cage. The winner stayed, and the loser was usually rolled out on a bed. The next opponent would walk up, and the second match would begin. Winner stayed. Loser left with a broken clavicle. It was a repetitive cycle with only the injuries varying between matches. 

My turn came some time around 12 am and from then, I was just throwing my opponents left and right. My arm ached occasionally, but Petra's bandages always worked like magic. I felt like I could get through this and win the prize money with no problems. Now, the only person that was left was Humanity's Strongest....

\---------

Surrounding the cage, the crowd cheered loudly and obnoxiously, and perhaps that's why no one realized that the owner of these cages, Kenny, was sitting in his black suit and a top-hat among the back, highest row. Similarly, no one noticed Humanity's Strongest sitting next to this man.

"So, Levi, what do you think about that girl? Glad to be back again? I heard the Survey Corps caught you and made you one of them. What a joke!" Kenny howled, matching the mood of the crowd. "Yall low on money, or are you thinking of coming back to the underground?" Kenny asked. He crossed his legs on the seat in front of him and laid an arm on Levi's shoulder. "Come on, don't you miss the putrid smell of the underground? I'll welcome you back with open arms." The older, wrinkled man demonstrated with his elbows raised at shoulder level until Levi shot him a glare. "Okay, okay," Kenny said as he backed off. "You know, I'm even willing to let you bring those friends of yours. What were their names again? Isabel and Farlan?"

The bangs on Levi's forehead shadowed the murderous glint in his eyes, and Kenny knew exactly why. But he couldn't help but tease his former student in the most painful way possible. Kenny was a sadist, but Levi was familiar with these antics.

Levi uncrossed his arms and legs as he stood from his seat at a height of 5'3". He wore a white tee with black sweat pants that thinned around his ankles. "I'm just here to collect a brat tonight," is all he said as he descended down the aisle between the seats. 

As Levi started moving, slowly one-by-one the crowd members recognized his infamous dark, narrowed eyes that held an ominous glare. Several members of the audience growled at him, attempting to intimidate Levi. But he paid no attention. One large man had the guts to walk up right in front of Humanity's Strongest. The crowd cheered wildly for the underdog, hoping to see someone take down the strongest fighter. 

Levi appeared like a child before the large, muscular man who approached him. However, Levi was unmoving, causing the man to stiffen before him. Loosing his patience, the large man scowled and sent a fist straight at Levi's face. However, within an instant, Levi was behind the guy. The force of his body behind the punch caused the man to fall down onto the steps, and Levi continued making his way towards the cage. The crowd had become completely silent. 

And this was when I noticed that the crowd stop cheering as they separated on the floor to reveal the man known as "Humanity's Strongest."

'Humanity's Strongest? More like Humanity's Shortest. There's no way this guy is going to be any match for me,' I thought as my expression brimmed with confidence. However, my eyebrows creased when I saw him jump into the cage from the floor 5 feet below. It was as if he disappeared for a second from the floor and then reappeared in the cage. I studied him head to toe as my body tensed as if suddenly sensing something dangerous about him. 

My numbed nostrils filled with a smell known to areas this far underground. 

Daisies? Could it be a fabric softener?

No, there's no way a man could smell like daisies, especially not any man down here. Everyone stunk of sweat and grime. 

But in a short while, the daisy-like smell permeated throughout the cage. I crinkled my nose. This man was definitely a strange opponent. Unlike others, he was well-groomed, his hair straight and not a strand out of place, his white t-shirt stainless and his face lacking the scars of experienced fighters. 

When my eyes met his, perhaps for the first time in my life since attaining these inhuman powers, I felt small in someone's presence. I was intimidated by his eyes because they reminded me of mine. And I was breathless with that realization, the realization that there was someone just like me. It was like staring at a mirror image of myself, someone who knew fear, loneliness, rage, and pain. I wanted to ask him how or why he goes on living. It's a question I've asked myself so many times, but I haven't found the answer. 

I feel stationary. My days were cycles of fighting to survive alone, fighting that I would have given up long ago had this life not been my own. 

This life was given to me by my mother. Im alive, but I feel dead on the inside, as if I can't breathe. Something internal is missing, and I need to find it. I need someone or something to remind me to breathe.

The ringing of a bell broke my inner thoughts as the announcer stepped into the cage to introduce us. I was obviously an unknown fighter without a name, and the opponent before me was someone called, "Levi."

Levi. His name slipped from my tongue in a whisper by accident. I'm not sure why and hoped he hadn't heard me. I didn't notice the slight tilt of his head, signalling that he had picked up on my mistake. 

Despite all that I felt, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to survive, to live on. I needed to find my purpose in life, the reason why I have these powers. And maybe....maybe somehow that could fix things. Maybe Eren would eventually forgive me for being the reason our mother is dead. Maybe I could go to the mall with him and his adopted sister Mikasa like a normal person with friends and family. 

I want to be normal. 

My body took a low stance with my arms in front of my face. I dropped my guard slightly as Levi entered his stance. Every time I looked at him, he reminded me of my purposeless life. 

'You can't lose here,' I told myself. 'You've made it this far. Don't give up.' But my body felt heavy again as my throat constricted. In truth, I was just alone. I was living, my body was functioning, my heart was beating, but I had no vision. I didn't feel alive at all most times. And maybe that's why I enjoyed fighting. Because the pain when I received a blow reminded me that I was in fact human and that I was living, actually living.

I gasped abruptly as I felt a fist twist into my stomach. My body was sent flying to the other side of the cage, the criss-crossed cage bars imprinting a diamond pattern on my back. I fell to my knees, but used the cage to steady myself slowly. 

Levi was standing in the middle of the cage, hands now back by his sides with red knuckles from the strength behind his punch. It was clear that he was strong and simply assessing my abilities. And by his relaxed posture, it was blatantly obvious that he was holding back. Not wanting to give him the wrong impression, I inhaled and then exhaled, my fingers leaving the support of the cage as I stood. My injured arm was in pain, but I ignored it. Cracking my knuckles, I let a small smile decorate my features.

It seemed like I could finally get serious. 

\--------------

END OF SMEXYNESS

Honest opinions guys? Gonna release Vic/slave after releasing chapter 3 or 4 of this!


	3. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by SmexyLeviLover

An ungodly force threw me back, my shoes skidding against the hard floor. I dug my heels in, effectively using the friction between my soles and the floor to stop my body before it hit the wall of the cage. The bottom of my shoes were burning, but I didn't care. As soon as my body stopped moving backwards, I used my knees to lunge forward, bursting off the floor to throw another punch. These wild, sporadic movements drove me to use my muscles in ways I hadn't before. This was the first opponent who I could fight evenly with. No, this was actually the first opponent who was stronger than me. I was excited, but I needed this prize money.

"Why are you so damn strong?!" I shouted in frustration as I raised my fist, able to clearly see the pathway it would take to connect with his face. Unfortunately, just like the other times I attempted this, he side-stepped to avoid my brute force. Well, side-step may have actually been a misnomer. In fact, he was actually disappearing from my direct line of sight for a second before re-appearing in my peripheral vision. His white shirt would alert me whenever he had mysteriously re-appeared in another location, but as always, Levi's body moved faster than I could process as he sent a relaxed roundhouse kick into my side.

Relaxed. Ha. That fucking kick blew me from one side on the cage to the other as I once again slammed into the wall. I fell to the ground on my hands and knees, straining my neck to look up at him. He walked calmly before me as I lowered my head in shame. I could see thin, pale ankles covered slightly by his black pants. How could someone so small move so damn fast? I was pissed. He had barely even broken a sweat.

"Are you done yet?" Levi asked me with an apathetic voice.

The loud cheering for me to get back up disappeared into the depths of my mind. I was seething with anger, a furious red boiling beneath my veins. It seemed he enjoyed the look in my face as he cocked his head to the side.

"Oi, let's change the terms of this fight a bit. Perhaps you need some motivation. I'll give you double the winnings in addition to the $10,000 prize if you win," he offered.

My eyebrows creased in response. Twice the winnings? If he could give me that much on the spot, did that mean he wasn't in the cage fight for the money?

I clearly didn't believe him, obvious doubt riddling my features. He raised his chin towards the crowd where a woman with brunette hair and a crazy ponytail raised a suitcase, opening it slightly, just enough for me to see the wads of mint green cash lining the base of the suitcase.

"Take it or leave it," Levi said.

I gulped before glaring at him with narrow eyes. That money could pay for so much, more than a year of rent and maybe some extra to buy real food. But the cash only blinded me momentarily. "So what happens if I lose?"

Levi stepped back to give me space as I stood. "You have to give me your body."

\------

Hanji listened to the conversation between her friend and the young girl. She was well aware of Levi's inability to express what he actually meant to say, but she didn't think it was this bad.

"Levi!" she whispered harshly through her mic, relaying the message to his ear piece. "You can't ask a 17 year old girl to give you her body! Just tell her we need her to join our organization!"

But before Levi could say anything else, Hanji heard another voice.

"Fine. Let's do this."

\-----------

Was I surprised when he asked for my body?

Hell yeah.

Did I plan on giving it to him?

Fuck no.

I suppose I had given Levi the benefit of the doubt, with his well-groomed hair and decent clothes, but it just seemed like he was scum like all the rest. Asking for my body? Psh, pedo-bear much. I was confident I could take down this creep, even if I was the underdog at the moment. I just needed to find his weakness.

I had already discerned that he wasn't like the rest in terms of fighting skill. I was intimidated initially by his speed, but something was off.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me?" I muttered to myself in a low voice. He seemed to actually teleport, disappearing and re-appearing in another position, but no normal human could do that. So I needed to figure out what sort of tricks he was using. First, I needed to change this close range fight. I needed distance if I was going to observe how he dodged attacks.

Slowly, I walked along the circumference. He eyed me suspiciously as I opened the door of the cage, my back towards him.

"What? Are you running away brat?" he asked as the door creaked open. The crowd began their obnoxious booing, seeing as how their number one underdog seemed to be running away.

I smirked a bit and whispered under my breath, "You wish." If I was fighting anyone else, this move would be crazy, but I already knew that Levi was different. He'd be able to dodge this.

I pulled the door and broke it away from its hinges, throwing it like a Frisbee straight at Levi. I could hear him mutter a small "shit" as my eyes followed his every movement.

I expected him to use some sort of fancy body contortion trick to avoid the attack, but what he did next confirmed that my mind was not in fact playing tricks on me.

"No fucking way," I muttered, unbelievably shocked by what I observed. When I had fought Levi at a close distance, he only had to move to avoid my small but strong fist, nothing else. And the way he dodged appeared as if he just stepped to the side. But this time was different. He had to avoid a 6 x 4 foot door and could no longer simply sidestep to avoid a collision.

I made the right decision observing him from a distance. Levi had actually disappeared from the opposite end of the cage. But as soon as door hit the back of the wall with a force that caused a large indent behind him, he re-appeared a few inches in the air. Gravity should have brought him down immediately, but for a moment, it felt like he was floating in air. The soles of his shoes touched the floor before the door had even fallen back down from the wall. It was un-fucking-believable.

"Y-you can teleport?!" I said to myself incredulously. Teleport? How...or why? This was insane! My heart rate suddenly sped up. Was this person...like me? Did he also have powers? Could he maybe show me why I have these powers? Could he give me a purpose?

I looked to Levi as he touched his ear. I could see something black protruding, perhaps...an earpiece?

"What now, Erwin?" Levi asked his superior. "Seems like she figured it out."

"Take her down now. We can't risk ________ pulling something like that again and revealing this to the crowd," Erwin responded.

I stared at him strangely as he turned to face me, and the excitement of meeting someone like me soon disappeared. The last time I had met someone like me, that person killed my mother. As soon as my brain processed that, my expression darkened with a mix of fear and distrust. "What are you?" I shouted at Levi. "Who are you? And what do you want with me?" I kept my guard up. I wasn't going to let him take me. Not here, not now.

Levi sprinted towards me. No, he actually teleported with each step, appearing to just glide at a running speed, but he was much faster. My body froze as he grabbed my injured arm and twisted the forearm around my back.

"Agh!" I cried out in pain. Shit. Shit. Shit. Petra's bandages were slipping off my arm, and the stinging pain was only increasing. The rest of my body was paralyzed with an even more intense ache. Levi was purposefully targeting my injured arm. How did he know?

"Give up," he said as if surrendering yourself to a weird, daisy-smelling pedophile was the most natural thing to do.

"Like hell I will!" I shouted back as I tried to twist out of his iron grip. I was afraid. I had already lost my mother and my brother. And my father was still missing. What more was I going to lose if I gave up?

I would lose myself.

'I'm tired of losing loved ones,' I thought. 'I'm tired of losing to the inner demons that make me feel dead on the inside. Fighting is all I have. Fighting is all I can do to survive. Fuck you, Levi. I'm not giving up now!'

"Arrghh!" I screamed as I twisted out of his grip. I didn't care if I dislocated my shoulder or fractured a bone. I wasn't going to let him or anyone take away the one thing I've been holding onto since 3 years ago.

I raised my knee high and stomped on the ground with my heel. Vibrations reverberated through the underground arena as well as the tunnels that led to this area. Dust and bits of the ceiling started falling into crowd, creating a blurred, opaque haze around the cage. Suddenly, the ground beneath us cracked, and the scape of the floor became uneven, forcing Levi and I to lose our footing. He released my injured arm, and I broke away, but rather than running, I turned straight around and threw one last, aiming for his shoulder. I was confident. I knew it would hit.

But right before it touched him, he stopped my punch with his bare hand. A bare hand ceded my inhuman, powerful blow. Shock set into my features as I stared into his eyes. They were narrowed and cast a dark glare on me. We were alone. The crowd was covered in dust, and the only people who Levi and I could see were each other. Everything was so still. It felt like we were in slow motion. I breathed in dust through my nostrils and caught that familiar scent of Levi.

Daisies.

And then blackness.

I felt my body roughly shoved against a cold concrete wall. When I opened my eyes, my neck was turned and I was staring at the opening of an alley. The night sky was a deep blue, something that reminded me of a dark ocean. Pain in my arm made me wince as I turned to face the front. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by steel eyes staring daggers into mine. Levi's black hair was no longer perfect. It was dusty and had a few strands loose. He was no longer the relaxed opponent I saw back in the cage. He looked....wild.

"Drop her, Levi," a blonde man ordered as he walked into the alley, followed by a brunette with red glasses.

Levi obeyed at let my collar go. My body sunk to the ground as I coughed up a bit of spit. The blonde man kneeled in front of me, and I scooted away, trying to become one with the wall.

"What the hell do you want?" I hissed in a venomous tone. I put my elbow in front of me with my other arm hiding a fist underneath.

The man stared at me for a long time, long enough for me to wonder if he was even going to do anything to me. Sensing little danger, I lowered my guard slightly.

"My name is Erwin Smith," the man finally said. "I'm the Commander of the Survey Corps. We want you to join our organization."

Survey Corps? What?

"Why me?" I asked with distrust, leaning against the wall to stand up as Erwin did as well.

The night sky was too dark to distinguish Erwin's facial features, but I heard him chuckle underneath his breath.

"Because you have powers, just like all of us," he answered.

...my powers? Like all of 'us?'

"Who's us and how did you find me? What are the Survey Corps?" My eyes narrowed at him as I raised a fist. Levi started to move towards us before the tall brunette placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"My, my, aren't you just full of questions?" she said with a gleeful tone. "The Survey Corps is a sort of police-like organization that watches over people who have powers like you and ensures that these powers aren't misused."

"So what?" I retorted. "Pick-pocketing a bunch of teenagers is against the rules or something?" I wasn't going to let someone tell me how to use these powers. That's how I survived.

"Well, sorta," she responded with an awkward chuckle. "Oh by the way, my name is Hanji! Nice to meet you, ______."

My name. They know my name. They knew where to find me. How or why?

Reading my expression, Erwin answered my questions. "Petra told us."

Petra? Now she was involved in this Survey Corps crap?

"Bullshit, Petra might be a bitch sometimes, but she's not the type to sell a friend out," I uttered back with a harsh voice. Petra, a longtime friend of my mom, had been helping me out ever since my mother died and my father disappeared 3 years ago. When my mother's parents took Eren away from me and I had to go live on my own, she stepped in as my guardian, helped me get my own place, showed me how to get access to cage fights.

Erwin's face made me uncomfortable. It held no lies. The woman named Hanji stared at me like a poor lost pet, and Levi crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Why did it feel like I was being pitied?

Warm droplets swelled in my eyes. Petra was one of the few people I trusted. How could she do this to me? I clenched my teeth as I pushed past Erwin, hoping to run home, jump into bed, and wake up from this chaotic nightmare.

Back at the alley, Hanji sighed as Erwin straightened himself up.

"Should I go after her?" Levi asked his superior.

Erwin stared towards the opening of the alley. "No, we'll retrieve her tomorrow morning."

"So now what?"

"Hanji and I will head back to base. You should probably go pay a visit to Petra and get your arm checked out. What's the damage assessment?"

Levi let his left arm lie limply at his side. "Broken," he replied.

Erwin sighed. "Thought so. Stopping her punch with your arm was reckless."

\---------------

By the time I reached my apartment, it was almost 3 am. I fidgeted in my pockets for the keys which slipped in my restless fingers. It took me 3 tries to open the same door I had opened for almost 3 years. When I entered, I locked the door, my injured hand trembling. I leaned my forehead against the frame as tears escaped my eyes. I just couldn't process anything right now.

Seeing a loose strand of bandage, I was about to tear it off when I remembered how Petra wrapped my arm for me yesterday morning. Her straightforward and almost apathetic words hadn't matched the concerned expression on her face. Sobbing and hiccuping, I re-adjusted the bandages on my injured arm. The stinging disappeared slowly and was replaced with a warm feeling in my limb, but the rest of my body was cold.

I felt betrayed.   
\------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS.

Sooo yah this story is off to a rough start. A REALLY rough start for the reader. But you know what? I think there's so much beauty in developing a relationship. We've finally set the stage for reader to interact with Levi, and the action is just going to keep going into the next chapter!

QUESTIONS 

1\. WHAT IS LEVI'S POWER? (super easy)

2\. WHAT IS ERWIN'S POWER? (i'll be taking suggestions!)

3\. WHAT IS HANJI'S POWER? (i'll be taking suggestions!)

Any other characters you want to see in this series and what powers would you want them to have? :D

P.S. WHERE'S A VIC/SLAVE?  
\-- Well, I haven't started it yet cuz medical school. LOL It'll happen eventually though. Don't worry ;)


	4. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whewww. medschool is killing me. but imma get through it.
> 
> goals are to finish that last chapter for vic/slave. and then start pediatrician!reader x father!levi. :) and write this fic with the ped fic XD
> 
> i have no interest currently in becoming a pediatrician btw LOL but I always respect the work they do to take care of us :)
> 
> Have a nice day yall and always feel free to ask questions or add suggestions if you wish!

by SmexyLeviLover

Petra's eyes scanned the contents of the "novel" resting in her palms. The spine read, "Skip Beat," one of Petra's favorite shoujo mangas. The plot was fantastic, but the story held cherished memories of heated arguments between Petra and _______ over whether Kyoko, the main protagonist, should stay single or get together with her co-actor Ren.

Those memories brought a small smile to Petra's features. It was amazing so see how much more talkative you had become these past 3 years. The auburn-haired nurse recalled the day she heard about the disapperance of Dr. Jaeger and the death of his wife and Petra's dearest friend, Carla. It was almost 3 to 4 years ago, maybe a bit more. Their lives had been taken by the same man who caused the death of Petra's squadmates, **the creator of titans and the Survey Corp's biggest enemy.**

That day, Petra lost everything, not just her friends but also her faith in her abilities. Her healing powers were useless if she couldn't save anyone. Petra couldn't even find the will to fight anymore and quit the Survey Corps. She became a nurse at a local high school, trying to live out the rest of her days peacefully, but as time passed, living became unbearable without the friends who stood by her side. Everything about Petra was a facade, the ruby lipstick, black high heels, and dark eyeshadow were just a mask to conceal her ever-growing feelings of remorse. 

Then one day, a young 14 year old girl walked into her office. She had a light scratch on her knee and a cut on her cheek. Her face was shrouded by a hood. Petra asked no questions and simply treated her wounds. When she was finished, Petra requested for the young girl to sign her name onto the paper log, as required by the school administration. At the end of the school day, when Petra was entering the document's information in the school computer, her eyes widened as she read the last name over and over again.

________ Jaeger.

That's right. Carla had mentioned that she had two children, a boy and a girl. She had even emailed Petra a few pictures of the kids. She and her husband had left the Survey Corps more than a decade ago when they started raising their family.

Petra scrolled through the old pictures on her email and then pulled up a screen with the class roster. Their faces matched, the current 14 year old _______ Jaeger and the young 8 year old girl in the picture Carla had sent.

But what had happened to Eren, Carla's younger son? He should have been 11 at the time. Curious, Petra called Carla's parents, discovering that after Carla was murdered, her parents had taken in Eren and dumped _________ in an apartment on the other side of town. Petra remembered the things Carla had told her about her childhood. When young Carla had acquired powers by chance, her parents tried to conceal that fact and hid her away from the world for her protection and their own. Carla found her freedom from her parents when she met Dr. Jaeger and was introduced to the Survey Corps. Her parents hated her decisions, and now they were blaming _______ and her powers for their daughter's death, hoping to disown her as soon as she turned 18.

Petra was revolted by their narrow mindedness. She found _______'s apartment the next day and paid her a visit. The young girl was cautious around Petra, but once Petra started talking about her mother, the girl lifted her head high enough for Petra to see Carla's eyes in hers. They were a beautiful color. But when Petra tried to gently push ________'s hood away from her face, her arm was smacked away. The young girl was scared, nervous, angry. She was everything Petra felt when she had lost her friends. However, understanding those feelings allowed Petra to push her way into _______'s heart little by little that day. It was Petra's comment about how she wished life could be like a shoujo manga that got the two started on an hour-long conversation about which shoujo manga would be the best real life experience. Eventually, they both settled on Skip Beat.

Over the year, _________ visited the nurse's office more and more, not just for treating injuries but also for advice. When ________  asked Petra how she could support herself rather than rely on her grandparent's money, Petra introduced her to cage fighting. From then, Petra had been one of few people that the young girl could fully trust. And in turn, the young child was a constant reminder that Petra wasn't useless. Every day _______ grew and became more independent was a success for Petra. Even if her friends were gone, Petra still had a purpose.

Nevertheless, every child eventually has to grow wings and soar by themselves. Erwin requesting that _______ join the Survey Corps was a good opportunity. The girl needed connections, a place she could call "home," friends who she could trust...even if she lost trust in the one person who had given her this opportunity.

\-------------

Levi trod lightly through the dimly lit hallways of Trost High School, the same high school where _______ apparently attended. He found the office marked "Nurse's Station" and entered without knocking. His gaze was met with a familiar auburn color.

Petra glanced upward from her "novel," her visage apathetic. It was 4 am in the morning, and she was tired.

"I'm pretty certain I asked Erwin to tell you to go easy on her," Petra spoke with slight annoyance as she laid the book down and sauntered over to the medicine cabinet. Levi roughly grabbed a seat, plopping down and crossing his legs.

"I did. How do you think she managed to break my arm?" Levi replied nonchalantly, turning his head to stare at the night sky through the window. Unlike Petra, sleepless nights didn't bother Levi. They were common to him.

"Geez. Erwin better be grateful that I'm giving up sleep to treat your arm," Petra sighed as she closed the cabinet doors and strolled to Levi. She took his arm gently and taped a long wooden piece that stretched from his upper arm to forearm. She then started wrapping the injured limb. Petra ran her fingers over the bandages that glowed a warm pink. Levi could feel the bones in his arm piecing together.

"So what happened to your friends? Isabel and Farlan, right?" Petra asked, attempting to break the silence that she knew Levi carried so well.

"Titans."

Petra felt a part of her heart ache. She and her squad had been in charge of capturing Levi and his gang 5 years ago. And although they were enemies, Petra held a fondness for the childish Isabel who outsmarted her with ridiculous maneuvers. The clashes between the two had been known as the Ruby Hoodlum versus the Tangerine Scout, courtesy of Petra's late childhood friend Oluo. 

"What about yours?" Levi inquired. He remembered being chased by Petra and her squad 5 years ago. They wanted to recruit the three hoodlums and have then join the Survey Corps, but Levi wasn't interested. Nevertheless, the Survey Corps was persistent in their efforts. Petra and her squadmates weren't as easy to defeat as the other pursuers and with every mission, they became more adept, more efficient, but Levi's gang managed to avoid them. Then about 3 years ago, Levi didn't hear from the Survey Corps again, not until a year ago when they successfully captured him and his friends with a new squad of younger members. A young prodigy of the Survey Corps named Mikasa Ackerman caught Isabel and forced Levi and Farlan to submit.

Petra answered Levi's question with the expression in her eyes. They were dark, baggy, and full of regret.

"Titans," she responded. "I hope you find and _kill_ the bastard who created those things." She was gently handling Levi's arm as she used her powers to heal him, but Levi could sense the seething tension emanating from her body.

"We all share those feelings. The only issue is entering the walls to get to him. He's surrounded by those titan creations of his, but Erwin has been developing a plan. He also seems to have a particular interest in that child of yours for this to work."

Petra's eyes widened. She had thought that Erwin perhaps wanted ________ for her skill, but was there an underlying reason behind choosing her?

"Levi, do you know what Erwin's power is?" Petra suddenly asked.

Levi was silent for a moment before answering, "No."

"...neither do I. He's never revealed it to me."

Levi kept his eyes on Petra's expression, observing the change to slight concern. It was an interesting thought that only 3 years ago, they had been enemies on opposite sides, and now, Levi was fighting for the same cause Petra had given up on. 

Petra's hands had left Levi's arm, and he could feel that his bones had healed. He lifted himself from the chair and started towards the door. Petra's concentration broke when she heard Levi turn the knob.

"Rest your arm for 24 hours. It should be good as new by then," she said quickly.

Levi nodded and continued out.

"Wait," Petra called. Levi turned once more to face her. "I heard you're going to be looking after _______. Just...take care of her, alright?"

Levi's eyes seemed to bore holes into Petra's figure as she sensed a daunting aura around him. She stared down at the small fingertips on her knees, gripping the ends of her skirt. She was worried about ________. Had she made the wrong decision? There was no turning back now. If the Survey Corps was interested in _______, they would definitely make her join. Petra trusted you in the hands of the Survey Corps though. She knew what it was like to be lonely, but at least fighting among comrades would change the dead look in ________'s eyes. It would give her a purpose.

Petra lifted her head as she heard the door close. She ran out, peering down the halls for the raven haired man. She wanted an answer, but all she received was silence. Levi was already gone.

\--------------

A loud _ding_ woke me up. It was Saturday morning, or maybe afternoon. I turned over in my covers and squinted my eyes towards the bright window. Afternoon for sure.

Releasing a heavy groan, I turned the other way and shoved a pillow over my head to block the light. My cell phone dinged again.

"God fucking damn," I muttered, kicking off the white covers as I crawled over to my nightstand. The straps of my spaghetti tank top were falling over my shoulders, and my long, baggy pajama pants were low on my hips. I re-adjusted them when I reached the nightstand. Unplugging my phone from the charger, I unlocked my cell and read the new message I had received.

**Mikasa:** Happy Birthday, ________.

Ohhh, right. Today was my 18th birthday, and it was definitely starting out in the most crappy way possible. My half asleep brain finally woke up and registered the soreness in my back and arm muscles. I tried to massage the knots in my back, but more, incessant dinging continued to irk me.

"Ugh, what do you want, Mikasa?" I groaned out loud as I looked over the new messages.

**Mikasa:** Where were you last night?

**Mikasa:** I tried to call you. Petra told me you were at a cage fight. How'd it go?

**Mikasa:** You wanna hang out today?

My sleepy, squinted eyes blurred the words of the screen, and I had to blink a few times to clear my vision. Seeing Petra's name left a sour taste in my mouth, but I had cried enough tears last night. The initial emotions were gone, and I could finally think clearly. I was going to interrogate her about the Survey Corps when school started again on Monday. All I could do at the moment was wait, so I quickly replied to Mikasa.

**Me:** I got caught up in some shit after the cage fight yesterday. I'll tell you about it later. Where should we go?

**Mikasa:** Let's go to the mall.

Throwing my phone on the bed, I quickly showered and dressed in whatever shabby outfit I could manage to put together. I locked my apartment and biked towards Trost Mall. I was in this goth/anime/punk rock store when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to meet the stare of a tall asian girl with short, straight black hair. She wore a black, grey, and white varsity jacket with tight black skinny jeans. Her red scarf nearly blinded me.

"Let's get something to eat," she said, gesturing to the food court. I trailed behind her like a puppy, watching as a lengthy, thin bag slung over her shoulder bounced up and down.

"You brought your kendo stick?" I asked, catching up to Mikasa's pace. She was always so fast with those long legs of hers. 

"Yeah, we had practice this morning." 

"Wow, Saturday practice is tough," I said, halfheartedly. I was distracted, peering around the crowds suspiciously. I noticed a few people stealing glances at Mikasa's bag, but she paid no attention. Kendo wasn't a very well known high school sport, but Mikasa's parents apparently used to own a dojo that Eren attended as well. When Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman were murdered by robbers, my grandparents decided to adopt Mikasa, since she didn't have any other relatives. Speaking of Eren, I wondered how he was doing...

"It's alright. I didn't bring Eren," Mikasa mentioned casually as we entered the line for Maria's Pizzeria.

My brow creased. "That's good. I doubt he wants to see me anyways," I scoffed as if I didn't give a shit. But the truth is, I really did. Eren was 15 now, but I hadn't seen him in person for a few months. Occasionally, I would run into him since we both lived in the same city, but any interaction I attempted usually ended up in an awkward silence and disregard. 

That's why I gave up trying to talk to him about a year ago.

But it still hurts.

Mikasa's impassive eyes studied my figure. She was someone who saw through me easily, and maybe that's why she decided to befriend me even though Eren didn't like the thought of it. She was kind, caring, and knew that this conversation needed to be re-directed.

"So what about the cage fighting last night? You mentioned that you got caught up in something. It wasn't a gang, right?" Mikasa interrogated, her voice a bit intimidating to mask her worry. 

"Nah, nothing like that," I answered, shifting back uneasily. Scary Mikasa was scary. Like, _really_ scary. "I just got an invitation to join this shit group called the Survey Corps." Ha. Invitation. It was more of a fucking threat, but I knew that telling Mikasa that would only lead to more questions and more interference. I didn't want to get her caught up in this mess.

The way Mikasa's eyes widened slightly caught my attention though. They never did that. Why were they doing that?

"What? Do you know them?" I asked curiously. I leaned, scrutinizing her every movement to detect any lies, but just as I expected, Mikasa was a smooth with her transitions. 

"No, but I've heard of them," Mikasa responded, her face quickly returning to its normal apathetic countenance. "I don't think you should join."

"Tch, didn't plan on it," I mumbled as we both paid for our pizza slices. We found an empty table close to the large windows. The warm cheese melted in my mouth as I chewed slowly. I leaned my cheek into my hand, my slice mid-air. Mikasa was as graceful as ever with her eating, the complete opposite of my idiot brother Eren. 

I think I really missed him. 

I groaned and laid my head on my forearm, pushing my plate forward. 

"What's wrong?" Mikasa questioned, pulling my plate away so that my hair wouldn't get decorated with a greasy cheesy mess.

I didn't bother to raise my head. "Hey Mikasa, do you ever feel like shit sometimes?"

She leaned in to try and see my face but I turned away. Sighing, she asked, "Where is this coming from?"

"I dunno," I muttered. "Just...sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a normal teen, you know? Like you and Eren. I mean, you guys haven't exactly had the 'normal' life, but neither of you have these weird powers like me. And...."

Should I tell her? Or keep it a secret? But she already knows about my powers, and she knows about my past...Oh fuck it.

Raising my head, I gulped and ran my tongue against the back of my teeth before continuing. "You see, yesterday I actually met someone just like me. He could teleport! And not just that, I kinda felt some sort of connection to him, as if he could understand me and vice versa. And I mean, that's never happened before! They seem like a bunch of weirdos to be honest, but I feel like I _have_ to join the Survey Corps. I don't want to be fighting on the street anymore. I want to use my powers for something else. I just...I want to know who I am." I finished and looked up at Mikasa, expecting her to fully support my decision since I had practically spilled my guts to her. I suppose I had been a bit optimistic, since a dark silhouette engulfed her features. 

"Hey," Mikasa started in a low tone, tightening her grip on the soda cup. "You don't happen to _like_ this teleportation guy, right?" The words seethed through her clenched teeth as I scooted back in my chair in utter nervousness I might have had inhuman strength but even I had my fears. And like I mentioned, scary Mikasa was _damn_ scary.

"N-no! Of course not! Why would I like someone who almost broke my arm?" I stammered, waiting restlessly to release that sigh of relief when Mikasa returned to her usual calm self.

Ah, optimism.

She clutched the cup hard enough that the top popped open and liquid spilled over her hand. 

"Uhh, Mikasa?" I heard her grumble something about "killing that bastard" but assumed I had heard wrong with that wouldn't make any sense at all. After all, why would Mikasa know anything about the Survey Corps? She didn't have any special powers. 

Mikasa's phone dinged as she fiddled in her pocket and pulled it out roughly, grumbling lowly. She dried her one hand while reading her texts with the other. Sighing, she replaced her phone and pulled away from the table, grabbing her kendo stick bag.

"Sorry, I gottah run," she said vaguely as she unzipped her kendo bag and tossed me a small box. "For you." 

And then, she left.

I stared at her receding body, then the wet table, and finally the small box in my hand. But something else caught my eye when she opened her kendo back. I didn't see the usual wooden kendo stick. Instead, I saw the outline of what looked like the sheath of a katana, the handle just barely visible. 

...why?

\--------

Mikasa met her adopted brother Eren outside the mall. He was on his motor cycle with a large bag slung over his shoulder just like Mikasa. He handed her a helmet as the two sped off.

"Titans escaped the south wall again. Damnit, can't the Garrison fix that wall properly?" Eren uttered as  he took an empty alley to reach their destination faster.

"Who knows," Mikasa said, gripping her bag tighter. "There's a rumor going around that they're running out of that special chemical to reinforce the walls. Hanji has been trying to reproduce it, but nothing's working."

"Yeah...hey, did _______ like the gift?"

"Don't know. I didn't get to stay long enough to ask," the raven-haired asian answered. A long silence followed before Mikasa spoke again. "Hey Eren, why don't you at least try to talk to your sister? You know, I think she---"

"You already know why," Eren interrupted as cycle's speed increased. "I can't face her yet, not after all the things I said to her after our mom died. My grandparents filled my head with all of these false thoughts before you got powers and before we joined the Survey Corps. I realized that it wasn't her fault; it was the damn bastard who created these titans that broke our family apart. I want revenge. I want to prove to her that I regret everything by wiping out all of them, all the titans and their creator. And then, maybe we can restart from there. But for now, I don't want to involve her in this mess. It'd be better if she just stayed away. I don't want the Survey Corps to try and recruit her."

"Too late for that," Mikasa whispered to herself. 

"Huh? What was that?" Eren asked.

"Nothing. Keep your eyes on the road, Eren." Silence followed again. "I think I feel like messing up that chibi bastard the next time I see him," Mikasa suddenly declared. 

Eren's face adorned a confused expression. "Wait, you don't mean Levi-heichou, right? He's pretty strong. Even I don't think you can take him head-on, Mik---"

"That's exactly who I'm talking about," Mikasa said bluntly as Eren sighed in exasperation. 

"Well, just don't try anything while we're fighting the titans. We have to keep them away for the city long enough from the city long enough for the Garrison to repair the wall again. Hopefully, they won't do a piss-ass job this time."

\-------------

"Well, this was just the best birthday ever," I grumbled to myself as I parked my bike near the apartment complex. I sighed and started up the stairs towards my apartment. I'm not sure why I thought today would be any different. Maybe it was because I had a crap ass day last night, I figured the next would be better. 

It wasn't.

I released warm, heavy sigh. I had spent the majority of my birthday window shopping until evening, watching the windows reflect groups of kids that walked past me. Being alone even after all these years still felt awkward. It was times like these my face would draw a blank stare as I turned to my escape mechanism, day dreaming. 

I would imagine life as a shoujo manga, where the main female protagonist is just a lowly high school student with a sucky life. And then, suddenly a dark-haired, cool, sleek prince appears and whisks her away into this insane adventure where they battle these giant mecha enemies and win and kiss at the end.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't "completely" shoujo, but what was I supposed to do? I loved fighting. What would life be without a few broken jaws here and there? (broken jaws of the enemy, of course)

But alas, life was definitely not a shoujo manga. There was no prince who would suddenly appear in a black and white tux with his hair swept back and a rose in his hand, ready to sweep you off your feet and let you soar in the air freely.

All that was in front of me was blackness----

"Huh?"

A well-built but short silhouette of a man stood in front of me on the top step. The night sky painted his face with deep blue streaks, and his hair blended in with the black shadows. I halted midway on the stairs, looking up at the oh so familiar individual.

It was Levi, the man who declared that he wanted my body during the cage fight.

"Took you long enough to return," he spoke calmly as he began descending the stairs. 

Fear clutched my heart. If my mother taught me anything before dying, it would be that I should avoid people who offer me candy in return for more suspicious deeds.

"Stay back, pedophile!" I yelled, throwing my purse straight at his face and making a break for it. I jumped down from a 5 stairs height and sprinted down the road, focusing all my energy into my legs. Fuck fuck fuck SHIT.

I dialed Mikasa from my cellphone and was greeted with her answering service. Well fuck, Mikasa. Seriously? I groaned and continued running, stealing a glance from behind. Whew, no sign of him.

And then I turned my head and saw a figure at the end of the road near the stop sign. I nearly let out a blood curling scream. What the fuck was this? A horror movie?!

"Stop running," he ordered as he teleported closer, my purse thrown over his shoulder. 

I glanced to the side to see a trashcan at arm's length. I furiously pulled the trashcan up, displacing its nailed base, and hauled it straight at Levi. Some of the random paper trash fell out mid-air, but at least the metallic, heavy trashcan was still in course. Levi disappeared momentarily to avoid the trashcan and then reappeared.

"Why are you resist---?" he started, but was interrupted by an old, puke-colored napkin falling over his head and blocking his vision, momentarily. I took the opportunity to slip away into a secret alley that only people familiar with the territory would know. 

Levi, on the other hand, pulled the napkin roughly away from his eyes searched in the vicinity. He grumbled at the small bit of weird yellow slime on his cheek and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe off the remains before disposing of the stained fabric. He transported onto a light pole and attempted to find his target through those means. His efforts were futile however, so he dialed Erwin.

"Oi, I lost the brat. What now?"

Back at base, Erwin placed his fingers on his temples. "She's on the south side of Trost Avenue. Wait for her at -----"

\-------

'Ha ha, that bitch. Well, I outsmarted him!' I thought as I climbed up the green fire escape of some random building. Levi would never think to look for me on the roof of a building. He would probably think that I was still running somewhere down below!

I peered upwards towards my goal, only to see that black silhouette leaning forward from the top of the roof balcony. His eyes carried pure hatred for my existence.

"Holy shit---ahh!" I screamed as I released the thin railing in fright. I felt myself falling backwards, the dark cement only getting closer and closer in my vision. 

_Yeah, life wasn't a shoujo manga. There was no prince to break my fall._

Levi teleported mid-air, wrapping his strong arms around my torso and my knees before teleporting to the ground. I tensed in his arms but felt strangely relaxed within moments, feeling as though I was being lifted by the wind. My nostrils filled with that lovely daisy scent...mixed in with a little bit of trash odor, thanks to my previous stunt. My squinted eyes opened slowly as my blurry vision cleared. My eyes traveled from Levi's ears to his chiseled jaw and then up to his narrow eyes where I saw him make a pain expression.

Gravity along with the weight of my body only added strain to Levi's previously broken arm, so he managed to make the best decision possible.

**He dropped me on my ass.**

Feeling the impact of cement on my butt, I let out a painful moan as I turned over on my stomach. 

"Can't you at least be a good male protagonist?" I yelled at my pedophile/knight in shining armor. 

Instead of hearing a response, I felt my arms jerked upward as cold metal clinked on my wrist. He-he cuffed me?!

"Come on, we're going back," Levi said, slight frustration evident on his face as he hauled me up like a hooligan. I stood in front of him with his hands holding onto the cuffs restraining my wrists.

So he was going to manhandle me at his crib or something?

"Wait, what? Back where?" I questioned, glaring at my supposed predator. 

Levi had his apathetic mask on. "Back to the Survey Corps headquarters."

I blinked a couple of times in surprise. "So does this mean you aren't going to manhandle me?"

Had I realized that Levi was not a man of many emotions back then, I would have imprinted Levi's mildly appalled expression in my heart forever. 

"What?"

\----------  
Known background so far. Current year is...let's say it's 2020 :D

2020 Current.

2019 Levi, Farlan, and Isabel are captured and forced to join the SC. Farlan and Isabel die at the hands of titans.

2018 Mikasa's parents die. Her "powers" emerge and Eren and Mikasa join the SC. Mikasa also befriends reader.

2017 Reader's mom died at the hands of the creator of titans and her dad disappeared. Eren taken by grandparents and reader moves out of town.  
Petra's teammates died at the hands of titans.  
Petra left the SC and finds out about reader, becomes her guardian.

2015 Petra and her teammates pursue Levi and co to get them to join the SC.

2010 or somewhere around this time. Dr. Jaeger and Carla leave the SC to go raise their family. :)

Extra notes:  
Imma leave Mikasa's adoption time open to any of yall.

2017 is a big year. Why? Because it's when the creator of titans went on a huge rampage on power users, AND SPECIFICALLY TARGETED READER'S FAMILY.

If anything needs clarification, lemme know! There are some blanks left on purpose for the storyline, but if I can tell you the answer without spoiling, I'd be happy to do that! :)

END OF SMEXYNESS YALL :D


	5. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! medschool is really insanely busy!

"Where are you taking me?"

I fidgeted in the leather seat, attempting to adjust the tight seat belt that irritated the skin underneath. I'm sure normal people would have easily unbuckled and buckled the belt again, but unfortunately for me, a certain former-pedophile-now-my-kidnapper had cuffed my wrists together and to the belt for extra insurance. 

This was simply aggravating.

I let out a sigh and turned to Levi with my face pulled up. Yeah, I was pissed at him, but I had to admit he was decent looking. The drive had been a long one, so I took my time eyeing him up and down. His pale left hand rested on the side ledge while his right wrist bent at the apex of the driving wheel, thin, long fingers tapping ever so slightly on the hard black surface as if he were playing a piano almost. His eyes narrowed at the road before him, forcing me to question whether he was near-sighted or just small eyed. The way his upper eyelids rested over his the top half of his misty, grey pupils intrigued me. His features were so unique. I had never seen anyone like him. 

"Find something interesting?"

My head shot up to meet two dark pupils merely glancing my way. Only then did I realize that my body had been leaning over the middle compartment to get a better view of him. And the fact that we were stopped at a red light only made things more awkward.

"N-nothing," I stammered. Damn, that was embarrassing. To think I had oogled so obviously. Wiping the light blush off my face, I tried to redirect the conversation. "So I heard you used to do cage fighting?"

I turned in his direction, but Levi's vision had already returned to the road as the light turned green. 

"Yeah," he responded in a low voice. His distant attitude made me wonder if there was perhaps something painful he associated with his past cage fighting, like maybe an injury...or someone he lost. I knew I had no right to put my nosy self in his life, but something about him just made me want to put the pieces of his puzzle together. It might have been because his eyes reminded me of mine, eyes that understood pain, loneliness, rage. Maybe if I could figure him out, I could better understand myself and get to a better place than letting my mind drift into the crevices of self-hatred.

"So why'd you stop?" I pestered him. Something about his clean cut appearance didn't match that dirty, grimy underground world that even I hadn't been exposed to fully.

"What's it to you, kid? You gonna write a fucking biography or something?"

Ah, but his attitude did. I guess he really didn't want to talk about his past.

"Stop calling me "kid!" It's not like you and I are _that_ far apart in age," I sighed in annoyance as I slouched in the chair. I stared at Levi's reflection in the mirror nearest me and caught an eyebrow raise. "What? You're about 21 or something, right?" More silence. "Wait, so how old are you?"

"I'm ----" A truck horn sounded in the opposite lane.

My eyes widened as he finished the sentence. "What?! No way! Do you not age or something? Are you a vampire?!" I exclaimed. There was no way he could be that old! Just as my mouth dropped from shock, Levi suddenly made a sharp turn into an underground garage that threw my body to the side. Luckily, the seat belt prevented me from body slamming the door. 

"What the hell was that for?" I yelled angrily as I tipped myself back upright. Levi made a fluid movement into a parking spot and left the car wordlessly. I watched as he walked around the front and finally to the passenger door. He hoisted me out and pushed me in front of him. 

"H-hey, why are you----!"

"Quit your bitching and walk," he said. I huffed out a pout but decided to comply. Well jeez, someone sounded like they had a giant stick up their ass. I guess I had been a bit too nosy for my own good.

As I walked through the barren garage, I felt a cold shiver encase my body. The dim lights above us flickered on and off, the same way they do in those movies with a young girl who hears something in a basement and then goes down to explore and----

"Ahhck!" I squealed when I felt light pressure on the tip of my shoulder.

"Are you deaf or blind, brat? I told you to turn left and instead, you almost walk into a wall."

I blinked and sure enough, a pattern of brick came into my vision. "Oh...," I said quietly as I turned and continued down a dimly lit corridor. After a few turns, we somehow ended up at a pair of green elevators and took them down to the ground floor. Levi kept me close, one hand never leaving my chained wrists. You would have thought that human contact would be all warm and shit, but his fingertips were ice cold on my skin. More corridors. More flickering lights. My legs began to tire. 

"Can't you just teleport us there or something?" I asked my captor rudely. I glanced over my shoulder, but Levi's dark eyes remained facing something in the distance. 

"I would," he started, "but you're going to need to know the path."

"And why's that?"

"Because you're living here from now on." And with that, we both stopped in front of a double door. Levi pulled out a key card and put it against the scanner. He was granted access and the doors began to open, revealing before us a large, empty.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I looked for any signs of life. I looked back at Levi and noticed that his eyes were shielded by the shadows of his bangs.

"Let's get a move on," Levi spoke as he turned away and led me towards the conference rooms. Levi and I continued down an empty hallway and stopped at the last door. Levi scanned his card again, and the doors creaked open.

"Ah, yay! You brought her!" the brunette with glasses nearly shouted as she jumped from her chair. I believe her name was...Hanji?

She started patting me on the head, uncuffed my wrists, and babbled on about Levi's rudeness. Ignoring her rants as I entered the room, my eyes met those of Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corps. He reminded me of Levi, with his undercut hair style and button up shirt with a tie tight at his neck. He gestured for me to sit down at the other end of the table, so I did along with Hanji. I expected Levi to join us, but he headed for the doors.

"Are you not staying, Levi?" Erwin asked. 

Levi shrugged in response with his hand on the knob. "Thanks to a certain brat who threw a trash can at me, I smell like shit. I'll be in my room if you need me."

Erwin nodded sympathetically and Hanji howled like a maniac. 'Ah, so that explains the stick up his ass earlier,' I thought.

When Levi left, the room filled with a sudden silence. I felt the need to start off this conversation. "So, mind telling me what's going on?"

I stared back and forth between Erwin and Hanji before Erwin heaved a disappointed sigh. He leaned over the table, his chin resting on his fingers. "I see Levi didn't tell you much on the way." Hanji also shook her head in a disapproving manner. We've brought you here, _______, because we want you to work with us on missions to ensure peace in the community."

"What 'missions?'"

"As I mentioned before, the Survey Corps is a police-like unit that watches over people who have powers like you and ensures that these powers aren't misused. We think your powers would help us greatly in this regard," Erwin stated. 

My eyes narrowed in response. "I see...So you said that there are others like me? What are their powers? And what about you two? Do you both have powers?"

Hanji grinned as she leaned in close enough for me to feel her breath on my cheek, her eyes sparkling like a child with a Halloween basket full of candy. "Do you want to hear about my powers? Do you really? We can talk about so many things! All things! Let's talk about everything, _______-chan!" 

I noticed a Red Bull in her right hand as she bounced in her chair. Well, that explained a lot.

Erwin noticed my growing discomfort and dismissed Hanji, who left while muttering about more "research" to be done. She told me that I was welcome to come to her lab and help her whenever, but I wasn't sure if she meant as an assistant or as a subject. 

And so finally, it was just me and Erwin alone in the room. He visibly relaxed in front of me, loosening his tie and giving me a small smile. I couldn't return it. I was too curious about this misfit of freaks who were all supposedly like me. 

"So what now? What happens if I decide not to join you all?" It wasn't like I planned to refuse them. I just needed to know what they were capable of if I ever decided to rebel. 

Erwin cleared his throat and sent a gentle smile in my direction, but I could sense more. That man had a lion under his skin. "Well, the choice is always yours, _______. However, if you refuse, I don't think you'll have anywhere to return."

My eyes narrowed with doubt. "....what do you mean by that?"

"By that, I mean, your old apartment is being cleared of your belongings. We've already worked something out with your tenant and paid any outstanding bills. Therefore, it would seem that you're in our debt."

Oh, this crazy bitch! "Are you _kidding_ me?! Where am I going to live? What the hell! I earned that money by myself to pay for that apartment! And I would have been able to pay this month's rent if I had won that fucking cage fight! Why would you---"

"We've already assigned you an apartment here. Your belongings will be transferred first thing in the morning," Erwin explained, another small smile gracing his lips at the sight of my deadpanned expression. 

"What about school?"

"We've taken care of that as well. You've been transferred to a new school closer in this area."

I couldn't respond. There was nothing else for me to say. It just felt like everything I had ever earned in my entire life was being taken away from me. Was this the change I was looking for? Or was this being put under someone else's control? 

"______," Erwin began, "I've decided to put you in room 601. Your neighbor in 602 is Levi, and your rooms are connected by a door. He'll be watching over you for the time being as you adjust to the Survey Corps. Please get some rest tonight. We have a mission tomorrow morning."

\-------------

"A mission tomorrow...," I whispered to myself as my body laid sprawled on the bed in my dark room. It was already past midnight and I needed rest. I closed my eyes, trying to let my mind relax but various thoughts swirled and zoomed about my restless head. To think that this had all started from a cage fighting tournament....and what about Petra? Tomorrow was Sunday. The next day would be Monday. I had planned to interrogate her about giving me up to the Survey Corps when school started again, but now that I had been transferred to another school, what was I going to do? 

....not only that, but what kind of connection did Petra even have to the Survey Corps? If she also had powers and knew about my own, why didn't she tell me about hers?

And then...what about Mikasa? I didn't have any friends at my old school, but at least Mikasa lived close enough that she and I could meet up. I suddenly felt a rush of guilt seed through my body. She had advised me not to join this group, but I went against her. And now, I wondered if I'd ever be able to see her again...as well as Eren even though I doubted he wanted to see me. My body shot up as I remembered the present Mikasa had given me before she left. Springing off the bed, I knelt down by my purse which Levi had so graciously left in my room (considering I had thrown it in his face earlier). I pulled out the box and opened it, lifting two thin fighting gloves. There was a note in one of them which read: Happy Birthday, ________. Use these to protect your knuckles. Love, Mikasa.

My anxious heart calmed down as I hugged the gloves to my chest. Even if Mikasa wasn't here with me, I know I'd find a way to see her again. Then, I heard a _tap_ as something small hit the floor. Running my hand across the wood, I finally felt a metallic object and brought it to my face. Using my phone, I cast the light from the screen onto the small object. It was a charm of a small wing, a tiny white wing that reminded me of something my mother used to wear. She had a necklace with two wings, one white and the other blue that connected together like a set piece. I remembered how she used to call them the Wings of Freedom, and ever since, I've loved anything with wings, anything that reminded me of the freedom of a bird that could soar in the sky without any weights attached. A warm smile set on my face as I attached the new charm to my bracelet, dangling the jewelry in front of my eyes. There was a small pink heart from my mother. She always told me to have a kind heart. A crown from my father. He would always call me his little princess. A small key from Eren to represent the treasure chest we buried when we were kids. It was back before our mom died. He and I both left notes to our future selves and promised to go open it when I was 18 and when he was 15. I suppose the time had come to bury our treasure chest up again, but I'm sure Eren had long forgotten that promise. And then there was a flower from Petra, something small and cute like you'd see in a shoujo manga. And now I had a wing from Mikasa. 

I felt my throat clench as I placed the bracelet back in my pocket. Each charm carried with it a cherished memory, but it hurt to realize that it was only memory, and times had changed. Mom was dead. Dad has disappeared. Eren hated me. Petra betrayed me. 

But that's why I needed to change to. Time had moved forward, but I was still standing still. With new motivation, I walked out of the bedroom to explore my new apartment. From what I could see, I had my own kitchen, shower, bathroom, living room and even television. And then there was that one door that connected Levi's and my apartments. With a small gulp, I turned the knob slowly and was surprised to feel the door open with no resistance. I remembered that Erwin had said that I wasn't allowed to lock the connecting door and supposed he must've given Levi the same orders.

I peered left and right before entering Levi's apartment completely. My hand immediately smacked against my nose to prevent me from laughing out loud. The smell of daisies. Go figure. 

I lightly tiptoed to the first room, pleasantly surprised to discover that it was his bedroom. The bed was perfectly made, not a single pillow out of place. I even opened the drawers and his neatly folded underwear and socks matched my suspicions. It was going to be really hard to keep a straight face if I saw him in person. Oh, which reminded me, I was here to snoop for information on the Survey Corps. I needed to get to work.

I opened ever drawer, every closet, looked in every nook and cranny, and nothing. Finally, I decided to search his book case. Using one of the many stools in Levi's room, I used my long time friend, Eenie Meenie Minie Moe, select a book, my finger falling on a small tattered novel with a black hard cover. Flipping through the pages, my eyes narrowed at the foreign language. Could it be...French?

"Ughhh, I can't even read this," I groaned as I reached my hand up to put the novel back. Suddenly, a small photo slipped from the pages. As I jumped off the stool and knelt down to lift the photo, my eyes widened. It was a picture of Levi...and two other people, a red-head and a dirty blonde. The names Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church were written on the back.

"What's this?" I whispered to myself. Both seemed pretty friendly with Levi, with their arms around either of Levi's shoulders and peace signs above his head like bunny ears. Levi, on the other hand, looked as if he could nearly kill them, but from what I had observed today, that was a pretty normal look for him.

Just as I was about to let a small chuckle escape, I sensed a dark presence behind me. I whipped around to meet a heavy pressure that forced my back to the cold, hard floor. Hands wrapped around either of my wrists as the photo was pried from my hands. 

"H-hey, what are you----!"

"What are you doing in my room?"

Shit. I squirmed underneath him, but Levi's legs trapped my torso, his fingers closing in tighter over my wrist. 

"I asked, what are you doing in my room?" Levi interrogated in a cold whisper. Ah, there it was again. I felt small, weak, intimidated. And for some reason, it was only because of Levi. 

"I was just snooping!" I blurted out. "Now, will you let me fucking go?"

After what felt like an eternity, the pressure disappeared, and I opened my eyes to see Levi replacing the book along with the photo. I stood up and grabbed my wrist, massaging the skin with my palm. I hated the way Levi made me feel, the way he made me tense, the way he seemed to remind me of how insignificant I was. I mean, how strong could he be? 

And that's when I made a mistake. Levi stood on the stool, grumbling about how I had dirtied his shelf with my grimey hands. Confirming that his attention wasn't focused on me, I lunged at him, hoping to topple him over, but instead, found myself heading face first into his book shelf. A tug on the back of my shirt caught me before I hit, and in a moment, I disappeared from one side of the room to the next, my back hitting the wall with an incredible force. I felt my heart shake in my chest and the air from my lung expelled in a coughing fit. 

I thought it was over, and recklessly tried to pry myself from the wall only to be forced back as hands wrapped around my neck. 

"It's just my personal opinion, but I believe pain is the best tool for discipline."

My pupils grew larger as I looked into Levi's eyes. They held an unfeeling, icy stare. It was as if he wasn't human anymore, the cold-blooded finger tips on my neck piercing through my warmth. His body loomed over mine, and all that was separating us was the still air between our faces. I grit my teeth to keep myself from making a sound in fear. I wouldn't let him have that satisfaction. 

"Someone like you doesn't need to be educated by words," Levi began. "You need training....if you're even worth that much."

He let me go, and I collapsed against the wall, inhaling rapidly to catch my breath. "What...What's up with that crappy attitude?! I bet your friends Isabel and Farlan wouldn't put up with this shit!" I shouted.

Levi blinked in surprise but quickly masked the emotion. "They're not here anymore," he replied as he returned to fixing his book shelf. 

Anger seethed in my veins. I detested Levi and said the most hurtful thing I could think of. "I bet you drove them away."

Ah, Levi's arms dropped by his side. And in a flash, I was up against the wall again, only this time, he wasn't holding back. "You're right," he said with an icy, calm breath that stabbed into my neck. "They are gone from this world because of me. And if you keep it up, you might be too."

I gulped as he released me.

"So stay the fuck away from me." 

\----------

"Stay the fuck away from him? Well, thanks Levi. I'll be sure to do that, especially since you're not supposed to be watching over me at all!" I said aloud as I chomped down on my makeshift ramen breakfast. Even though the apartment came furnished with a kitchen and all, I was a crappy cook and ran down the grocery store the next morning to pick up some "real food."

Today was Sunday, the day of my first mission. Erwin said to be ready by 9 am. Lucky for him, I couldn't sleep last night anyways and was already awake by 6 am. And now I was sitting on the couch cross-legged, twirling the ramen on my fork as I flipped through the channels on the tv. News. News. Game Show. News. Oooh, Anime! 

A sudden bang made me jolt as I looked over towards the source. A familiar scent hit me like a punch in the face. 

"What is that disgusting smell?" Levi asked as he walked into my apartment with his thumb and index finger clenching his nostrils. I slurped the piece of seaweed ramen hanging from my mouth and chewed before answering, "Breakfast." I then went back to watching my show without giving a fuck about Levi. He's the one who said to stay away from him and I was determined to do so----

"Hey, what are you doing with my food!" I yelled when Levi snatched my ramen away. He briskly walked towards the kitchen and dumped it down the trash. Then, he headed back through the connecting door of our apartments. I sat still with my mouth wide open until I heard him say, "Come here."

Rolling up the sleeves of my hoodie to go have a word about him and his rudeness, I entered his apartment. "Levi, do you have PMS or something because---"

"Sit your ass down."

Stomach growling, I was too weak and too tired to put up a fight and sat down at his kitchen table, playing around with the fork and spoon until a plate and cup were put before me. Buttered toast and...hot chocolate?

As Levi sat down to eat his breakfast, I bit into the toast in an unenthusiastic manner and said, "You know, I usually prefer peanut butter and jelly."

"Just fucking eat," Levi responded as he sipped on his tea and read the newspaper.

I couldn't really explain it, but I didn't feel as fearful about Levi anymore. Or maybe I was too tired and hungry to give a fuck. Either way, I think he deserved to hear something from me. I took a deep breath. "You know, yesterday, I think we got off on the wrong foot."

Levi didn't put his newspaper down, but I continued anyways.

"I'm sorry for what I said about your friends...." Still no response. "....and I'm sorry for throwing a trash can at you."

Levi tossed the newspaper to the side and with a sigh, finally looked at me. My eyes lit up. I thought he was going to apologize for being an asshole too and gleefully waited for his response.

"If you ever throw filth on me again, I'll fucking murder you."

And then he calmly continued eating breakfast while I simply stared on. Hm, well apology accepted.

\--------------

Three cloaked figures waited in the shadows of a parking lot near a grocery store.

"When are Commander Erwin and Corporal Levi bringing that new recruit?" Eren asked his superior, Hanji. 

Hanji smiled widely as she opened her small briefcase to reveal multiple metallic parts. She then took out a handkerchief to wipe them clean of the oil that stained them. 

"Not sure! Not sure! But from what I've heard from Levi, she's quite the handful! She's also really cute," Hanji grinned as she nudged Eren.

Mikasa's glare grew even darker. "....Levi said that?"

"What? No! Haha, I think she's cute," Hanji explained as she laughed aloud. 

"Tch, whatever. I just hope she isn't as annoying or useless as horseface," Eren muttered as a vehicle pulled up a few feet away. 

\-----------

The sun was too bright. The hood of my green cloak shaded my face. As the car pulled up, I peered out the window to read the store name. "Foodmart...?" I said with a confused tone. "What? Are we going grocery shopping for our first mission?

Erwin chuckled as he parked the car, "Well, you could say that we're shopping, shopping for power users who are abusing their gift. They go by the names Connie and Sasha. One has super speed and the other has the ability to turn invisible. They've been stealing from local grocery chains around the area, and we've already confirmed that they're in this Foodmart now. We're going to evacuate the citizens and then go after them."

"Hmm? So is it just us then?"

"No, we're going to be working with Hanji and two other members who are around your age."

"I wonder if those brats are here yet," Levi said as Erwin turned the car off. As we got out, we saw three other people approaching us with the same green cloaks we wore. 

"______!!!!" Hanji yelled as she sprinted towards me. I ducked to avoid her glomp and saw two pairs of feet in front of me.

"So this is the new recruit?" a male voice asked. 

_....why...._

"What power does she have?" a female voice asked. 

_....did they both sound so familiar?_

I stood up and lifted my hood away from my head to get a better look at my new comrades. Shock was written on their features as well as mine.

"_______?!"

"Mikasa and....Eren?!"

\-------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

Soo next chapter should be pretty funny and pretty serious. I mean, can you imagine chasing a speedy Connie and invisible Sasha, who want to steal all the food in the world to satisfy their gluttony? Well, I think Connie does it for the rush. Sasha does it for the food XD

I'm sorry this took so long btw! Medschool eats up all of my time TT.TT Pediatrician reader will hopefully come out by the weekend!

I also sorta have a confession. I went through some personal inner demons recently and still am and I guess to sum it up, I was feeling like utter shit. But the fact that you all treat me like a friend and a person rather than just someone who you're waiting to update really helped me through it. That, and another friend who I talk to a lot about these things. :) So thank you everyone! I hope that I can repay you all by bringing a smile to your face :)


	6. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys but I hope you all enjoy!

Remind me to Breathe Chapter 6

The winding, leafy trails of my dreams lead me down a familiar path. I tread carefully, bare feet snapping thin twigs beneath, and yet, I feel as if I'm walking on soft plush. The cool wind whistles by my ear and lifts me off the ground, and the rays of the sun softly caress my skin. Light emanates from within my body. The feeling is ethereal, like soft, protective hug whose warmth spreads from inside my soul to the very tips of my extremities. I know this world is my own. It's my collection of memories, an album of good days. When I'm in this world, I flip through the pages of my early life the same way someone would read a book, each scene making a permanent home for itself in my thoughts. But my memories are not a true story; there's a beginning but no end. And therefore, even with a climax, a resolution does not exist, mainly because I don't strive for any sort of salvation. I've passively accepted this never ending fate of fighting to survive. My body moves forward without a soul to lead it. I'm stuck. Even now when I look back, I still see a picnic, a birthday, funny faces, happy faces, the day some older kids tried to pick on Eren, the day I sent them to the hospital with broken arms.

And then the memories stop...because nothing was the same after my powers awakened.

I guess if I had to put my finger on it, things started to turn sour when I was about 11. I can't remember the exact day, but that's around the time I received these powers. And let's just say that control wasn't my strongest subject. I was pretty fierce and quite stubborn, and I knew how to hold a grudge. A few classmates who irritated me resulted an "accident" and a couple of distended monkey bars and a broken swing set at my elementary school. After that incident, kids began to avoid me while their parents spread rumors about "that weird Jaeger family." So when I was 12 and Eren was 9, our family moved over to a small, secluded town in a more rural area. Dad became the town's physician so Eren and I became well-known, but by now, I knew that my powers weren't accepted in a regular society. I wasn't too hesitant to use them (discreetly) however when bullies tried to mess with me. The times Mom found out, I was scolded harshly and sent to my room. It was rough acting normal, but even if no one else understood me, I still had my family.

During this time, I suppose that maybe Eren started to feel ignored. After all, Mom was constantly training me to control my powers, and Dad was always out treating the townspeople. I tried to spend as much time as I could with Eren, but as broken promises piled one on top of the other, he started pushing me away and running off on his own. He picked fights with the baddest of the bad among kids, and I was left to pick up the mess as his older sister. I guess I couldn't blame him. I acted the same way when I was his age. Eren was as stubborn as a mule, just like his older sister, but I think that's what I liked about him, his strong mentality. 

I just didn't understand, though, why when I offered him a hand, he would just brush the dirt off his knees and run in the other direction. It irritated me. Watching his small body disappear over the hill, I kept wondering why I even bothered to try and had a habit of releasing a weary sigh not fit for someone my age. On the inside, I already knew the answer. I was his older sister, and he was my younger brother. If Mom and Dad ever disappeared one day, I'd be the only person he could rely on, and I would protect him. 

Always.

Our parents did disappear when I was 14 and when Eren was 11. I can barely recall what happened, but Mom lost her life and Dad vanished from the world. The entire scene was like a tornado to me, present for one moment and gone the next. Unfortunately, the parts I can recall from that day are few and vague. Dad had left that very same morning to go treat a patient in the far outskirts of town while Mom and I were baking cookies. As usual, Eren was still upstairs sleeping. There was a knock on the door, and the mysterious man with a sword on his belt asked if someone with a name unfamiliar to my ears lived here. I can't recall the name now, but I sure as hell remember the shocked look on my mom's face. That was when all hell broke loose. The ground shook with loud thumping like footsteps of a giant, and large creatures three or five times the size of a normal human crashed through the walls of our house. Ten, maybe twelve of them swarmed around us, but the man's laughter thundered over their stomping. He said he wanted me dead. Mom said she wouldn't let that happen. And after that, the rest of my memory is blank. Sometimes I get visions of Eren trying to shake me awake or yelling for help. Unfortunately, I really can't vouch for those memories. 

 

The next time I was fully conscious, I was in a hospital bed as was Eren, but when he also woke up, I couldn't comfort him like I should have. Maybe if I had properly faced him, I could have apologized, but I never had the chance. My mom's parents immediately took Eren in, paid for my hospital bills, and dumped me in an apartment for high school. They were well aware of my powers, and that's exactly why they refused to house the child responsible for their daughter's death. Once again, I don't blame them.

Against my grandparents' will, I never stopped watching over Eren, even after our mom died. Of course, it was hard to be his older sister when we couldn't live in the same house. Maybe the breaking point was when Eren started turning away from my gaze or when he verbally expressed his hatred for me being the reason why our mom died. Giving up became easier too when our grandparents adopted Mikasa as Eren's older sister. She was strong, both mentally and physically, and I figured I could leave him in her hands. 

I haven't seen him since really. I don't try.

So - haha - it's funny now that he's standing right in front of me. He's 15 years old, but he's taller than his 18 year old sister. I can still pick out the small features he's had since he was a kid, that rusty, brown hair, those large turquoise eyes, and that habit of crinkling his nose when he sees something he doesn't like. Nothing has changed, except that I'm no longer by his side anymore to hold his hand.

(It's nothing new though.)

"Why...are you here?"

Eren's voice thrust deeply into my heart; it was a sound my ears were unaccustomed to, a stranger's voice. 

Words just barely audible escaped from my trembling lips. "I...Eren...why...?" My inability to process any sentences reflected my jumbled thoughts. I hadn't properly spoken to Eren in years, and now he was in front of me as part of the Survey Corps?

He stepped forward, and I raised my forearm to ward him off. Funny how I thought that would work.

"I thought I told you not to join the Survey Corps." Mikasa's voice rang through my ears. 

I met her gaze with mixed emotions, relief and confusion. Why was she here? I thought the Survey Corps were only for people with.....powers...., _but she and Eren...._

My eyes followed the outline of a sheath by her side, and then I noticed a matching one at Eren's hip as well. Were they going to engage in combat during this mission? Mikasa must have noticed that something was wrong when I started to shake with my fingers pressed against my temples. My mind had gone into overdrive. I couldn't reach any logical conclusion for this turnout, and I couldn't even form the words to ask questions. 

Luckily, Erwin intercepted. "Now that we've met, I think it would be best to split into groups of two. Eren, Mikasa, you both will be with me. Levi, I'll leave ______ in your hands."

Eren seemed to mask whatever confusion was evident on his face earlier and turned to walk away immediately towards the Commander. Mikasa's gaze lingered on me for a while before she turned to join him. I couldn't even call back to them. I could only watch the back of their green cloaks as the two of them followed Erwin to the other side of the grocery mart.

Disappointment was pervasive throughout my features, from the folds on my forehead to my grit teeth. I was so useless.

"How do you know each other?" 

I raised my head. Levi was standing in front of me. 

"Eren...he's my brother," I answered hesitantly. 

"Ah." Levi didn't say anything else about it. It wasn't his place to.

He walked past me, grabbing my hood and crudely throwing it over my head. "Just don't fuck up," he grunted as he ushered me to follow him.

Eyes shadowed by the cloak, I choked out a "yes" in response. Thanks, Levi. That helps _so_ much.

\--------------------

Levi and I hung out on the ceiling, quite literally. I was pretty fucking surprised when he suddenly grabbed my hand, even more surprised when I felt my butt hit a cold metal bar. I really wish he would tell me when he was about to do his transporting thing.

"So what exactly do we do now?" I questioned Levi as he peered through his binoculars. 

"We wait," he responded.

I let my boots dangle from the edge of the steel bar, peering down at all the people who would never imagine to see us up this high by the ceiling. I held my cloak close, the cold air of the freezer section below permeating through our surroundings. My hands were tucked between my thighs to keep them warm. Shoulders hunched, I observed the public. I could see kids in carts pointing at colorful boxes, parents either shaking their heads or succumbing to their children's tantrums. I presumed it was the ice cream section and chuckled, recalling a similar experience when Eren and I were children. 

I searched for more, perhaps trying to find memoirs of the past to forget about the present. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake off the fact that Eren was in the Survey Corps. How could I have missed it? Moreover, he didn't have any powers, right? All these questions made my head hurt, but my furrowed brows quickly dissipated when I caught the eyes of a young boy staring up at me. He was being strolled by his older sister and was gazing up at me with large eyes. Forcing a smile for the child, I waved slowly. He returned the wave with a giddy expression.

Before his sister could look up, Levi transported us to another location of the store. Butt, cold metal, pain.

"Ouch! Geez, Levi can't you warn me in advance when you're gonna pull that shit?" I yelled at him blindly. Presumably, my cloak had turned inside out over my head, and that's why I was seeing black in every direction. 

Ignoring my question, Levi strode over and threw the cape over my back so I could see again. "Stop shaking your head like a dog. What were you doing?" he hissed.

"Saying hi?"

"Well, stop it. We're not supposed to be attracting attention."

"Why not?" I grumbled. "Aren't they going to see us when we go searching for Sonnie and Casha?"

"Sasha and Connie. How the hell did you even mix those up? And no. The Survey Corps stays out of the public eye. We complete our missions with the utmost secrecy."

With a defeated sigh, I turned to look down again at the shoppers and noticed a few scrambling about with panicked expressions planted on their faces. Sudden shouts alerted our attention to the front of the store. A large alarm sounded, our eardrums almost bursting. I covered my ears with my hands and watched as people ran in every direction but one and so I followed that path to the cause of the problem. There, in the middle of the store by the bread section stood Hanji in a long, black jacket, sunglasses, and black gloves. I'd be lying if I didn't say she looked fucking amazing. That strange suitcase that she always carried was open beside her. Metallic weapons were melding together in the air, parts building bigger parts. Newly formed guns fired shots in every which way, bullets piercing milk containers and cereal boxes and whatnot and food flying everywhere like one of those cafeteria food fights you'd see in the movies. Of course, Hanji made an (somewhat) conscious effort to miss the citizens who were forced to evacuate the store.

Appalled by the pure hypocrisy, I looked over to Levi, who also held a deadpan expression. "Really?" I yelled over the ringing. "You call that out of the public eye?" My hand gestured in Hanji's direction. 

"Fucking Hanji," Levi muttered as he held the bridge of his thin nose. The newly formed creases on his forehead elicited a small chuckle from me. Frustrated Levi was kind of cute, but just before I could add another snarky comment, Levi's ear piece buzzed. 

"We've confirmed the evacuation of all citizens. Sasha and Connie are still in the building. We're starting the mission, Levi," Erwin relayed over the transmitter. Levi nodded and gave the signal to go. I didn't tell him I had a fear of heights and swallowed that fear before jumping off the railing. My eyes were closed tightly mid-air, but I felt a warm hand embrace mine. And before I knew it, my feet were touching solid ground. 

\---------------------

A young brunette munched down on the sweet, sugary goodness of a cinnamon roll, her messy ponytail collecting crumbs on the ends of her hair. She was without a care, her ears deaf to the reverberating alarm sounding through the grocery store.

"Oi, Sasha!" her younger, bald male companion called for his friend's attention. "Isn't that an evacuation alarm?"

"Iumphno MHEBEEZMEET!" she responded with her mouth full before she sped off to the meat section. 

Her friend stared at her in disbelief as she disappeared around the corner. "Ugh, that dimwit. There's no store that sounds an alarm like this for a meat special! Well whatever, it's not like we have anything to fear," he said to himself as he shrugged his shoulders and continued to collect more food in his sack. 

"Are you sure about that?" a deep voice rang in his ears. In front of him stood two green, cloaked figures with a symbol Connie immediately recognized.

The Survey Corps.

\-------------------

A hungry Sasha had made her way to the meat section, her stomach sounding whale mating calls as her eyes feasted upon the large chunk of meat spinning on a vertical rotisserie. Her salivary glands kicked in as she shivered with anticipation, hands making clawing motions.

She jumped over the counter to meet her one and only, teeth marking her victim.

"Mmmmh!" she moaned in delight, pressing her hand to her cheek. Out of all the stores she had stolen from, this was definitely the best one. She didn't even have to use her invisibility power since no one was here.

'Wait a second,' Sasha thought. 'Why is this store so empty all of a sudden?'

Right as Sasha lifted her head over the counter to peer out into the open, white light flashed in her eyes. And in the next moment, the giant clump of meat had been sliced perfectly down the middle. Sasha opened her mouth in surprise, a metallic taste stimulating her taste buds. The palm of her hand pressed against her cheek, smearing the bit of blood dripping from a newly formed wound.

A tall, muscular, dark haired girl made herself known, stepping out into the open along with her partner, a slightly shorter boy. Her sword was unsheathed, glowing a bright silver-white color.

"Oi, don't you think you could have waited to attack until we were closer? I thought we agreed that I would get to take the target down anyways," the boy spoke.

"Eren, we haven't assessed how dangerous she is," the female partner responded, eyes never leaving Sasha.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Mikasa? I've killed titans before. Why wouldn't I be able to take on someone who can turn invisible? That's like the stupidest power ever," the boy returned with fury.

The girl named Mikasa turned to her partner to argue with him, but when both suddenly remembered their mission, their target Sasha had already disappeared.

"I blame you for this," Eren said.

"I'll go after her. You can stay here. It'll be safer," Mikasa responded as she took off down aisle 4.

"Who the hell made you my mother?" Eren muttered as he watched his step-sister turn the corner. He eyed the area suspiciously, ears perking up to every sound he picked up on. His step-sister may have been strong physically, but Eren had the upper hand. He had studied up on his target and knew she wouldn't be able to get too far on a full stomach.

A can fell in a nearby aisle and Eren grinned to himself.

Gotcha. 

\----------------------------------

Our target was some bald runt, shorter than Levi if that was even possible.

"What the hell do you guys want with me?" he yelled out. He held a raggedy, black backpack and stood feet shoulder-length apart, fists balled. He was like a mutt guarding his last and only bone, a cute, short mutt.

"Connie Springer, 15 years old," Levi announced. "10 counts of theft from a chain of grocery stores. Aided by his partner and fellow power user, Sasha Blouse. We're taking you into the Survey Corps for questioning, kid."

I whistled. "Dang, how come you guys weren't able to get him any earlier?" I threw my hands over my hips and cocked my head to the side. The kid didn't seem like much to me.

"His power. He has the power of agility, and his partner can turn invisible. They've been able to evade the lower ranking members of the Corps which is why we're going to capture them ourselves," Levi answered.

"If they're that good, then punishing them would be a waste right? Why don't you offer to let them join us like you guys did for me?" I asked casually.

"What makes you think I want to join the Survey Corps?!" Connie shouted from the other side of the aisle. "I'm not some do-gooder who's gonna go around and act like some lame superhero! I only watch out for myself!"

Levi crossed his arms over his chest. "So what about your friend?" Levi questioned, eliciting an awkward pause in Connie's motions. "What if I said we already had her? Are you going to leave her?"

Connie's eyes widened with rage.

"Hey, hey, aren't you going a bit far?" I whispered over to Levi. Using someone's friend as bait...just seemed wrong. And I could understand where Connie was coming from, wanting to look out for only himself, but for me, I felt so out of place with my powers. It was reassuring to know that I wasn't alone, and that there was a place for me to be useful, to move forward. I still hadn't found it yet, but my gut just made me want to trust the Survey Corps.

"That's the point. Get ready," Levi replied, eyes darting side to side to observe his surroundings. I turned to look over to Connie and found empty air as a replacement.

Cans in the aisle shook in waves as something approached us. Connie was too fast for our eyes to sense, too fast for either of us to predict how close he was. In a flash, a silver dagger was barely touching the skin of my thigh before Levi transported us a few feet away. Connie had stopped at the opposite end of the aisle and turned around, and now I could clearly see the knife in his right hand. The tomato cans that had burst from the pressure of his speed stained the floor red. The entire sight was scary, how someone who was just my little brother's age could have such murderous eyes. He was like a shark in dark water, blind but able to sense fear or hesitation and reacting on instinct, probably something he picked up as a loner in order to survive.

I had been that loner before, but Petra found me. Mikasa found me. There was no point in my life where I was truly alone. Even if no one understood my pain, I had support. That's why Connie's state tugged at my heart. Without that support, I could have been him. But I knew better than to reach out. His sharp teeth already pierced into my flesh in the form of a dagger. A shallow wound marked the skin of my thigh, blood staining the white pants of the Survey Corps uniform. Connie was dangerous, like a shark marking his prey. However, if Connie was a shark, Levi was like an alley cat, graceful in his hunting motions. He was capable of capturing your attention in a hypnotizing manner and drawing you in before you could recognize the wild, hungry look in his eyes. A beast with class. Thus, Levi and Connie stood at the same level in terms of predator-prey instincts, but the immense amount of invisible scars that marred Levi's hands spoke for his experience. They also spoke for Connie's future.

"That's not a bad look in your eyes, brat," Levi declared, shifting himself in front of me. "Could be better with some training."

I almost nodded my head in response even though Levi's attention was only focused on our target. If Connie could see that Levi also held that familiar rage, loneliness, and pain that the two of us kids knew, maybe he could also see that there was hope in the future....for all of us.

 

\----------------------

"Nooo! Please spare me! Or at least, can I please finish that piece of meat?" Sasha cried out, a dark red pair of cuffs restraining her wrists behind her back.

Eren wiped the sweat off his brow and picked up the hunk to meat, tossing it towards Sasha who caught it in her mouth like a dog. She sat cross legged with the meat in her lap, drool dripping down the sides of her jaws.

"It's good that Hanji's cuffs work. Cutting off our target's powers makes it easier to keep them from escaping," Eren commented as he stretched his arms over his head.

His step sister, Mikasa, held a neutral expression that Eren already expected.

"What? I got to her first, so I was the one to capture her. Shouldn't you be happy that I saved you the trouble?"

"I would have been happier if you didn't throw yourself into dangerous situations," Mikasa finally replied in a dangerously low tone.

Eren furrowed his brows in response. "I'm never going to get stronger if I don't fight. I'm not here to twiddle my fingers while everyone else around me does the dirty work. I have a goal, Mikasa, and I plan to follow through with it."

Mikasa wanted to instill some sort of common sense into Eren. How could someone with no powers expect to go against the creator of the titans? But alas, Eren wasn't a logical being when enraged with the thought of gaining revenge. "We should go find _______. The other kid is more dangerous than 'that.'" Mikasa tilted her head to gesture towards the captured Sasha whose face was stained with meat juices. "I also don't like leaving her in the hands of that guy."

"You mean Levi? How long are you going to hold a grudge against him?"

"Until I make him grovel at my feet," Mikasa grumbled, the shadows of her bangs adding to her fierce expression. 'Like he did to you,' Mikasa thought inwardly.

\-----------------

By now, Connie had realized that it'd be impossible for him to leave this aisle without defeating us, or Levi at least. My strength didn't bare much against Connie's speed, much the same way I wasn't able to keep up with Levi's transportation ability  during that cage fight. I could only provide backup for Levi, and in the worst case scenario, I suppose he could have considered me a hindrance since I was an easy target. Surprisingly though, it seemed that Connie was somewhat of a chivalrous fighter, attempting to take me out of the equation with a quick knock out or two, but thanks to fighting against Levi, my eyes were already accustomed to adapting to sudden movements or changes. It became easier to pick up on where Connie was approaching me, and unlike Levi, Connie couldn't change his direction in a split second, meaning that if Connie was coming at me from the south and was only 2 feet away from me, his momentum would carry him in the same direction, making it easier to place my punches.

The hits I landed threw Connie off balance, the new bone fractures weighing heavily on his agility. By now, Levi and I could easily follow him with our eyes only. Connie had realized this as well, his stamina slowly withering away.

There was no escape for him.

"Shit...," he muttered despicably, his right arm holding his left elbow thanks to me. "Why can't you people just leave me alone!?" he yelled out.

Levi "tched" in disgust. "Because you're committing a crime by stea----"

"Because you're like us!" I intercepted Levi, his eyes showing curiosity at how I planned to continue. "You don't have a place you belong, right? I didn't either, and honestly I just joined the Survey Corps so I don't feel like I have a home either right now, but my gut tells me I'll find it in the Survey Corps. Haven't you ever wondered if there's something good you could do with these powers?" I was never one to express insecurities like this, but I really wanted my words to reach Connie's ears. I wanted him to know that even if we hadn't had the same experiences, I wasn't an enemy. I was like him, and he was like me, a person, an abnormal person with powers looking for some place to belong. I wanted him to let go of the pain he's held onto for so long, even if I was still struggling with that myself.

I was being a hypocrite, but I couldn't stay quiet.

"Why should I use my powers for other people? Why should I fight for your cause?!" Connie shouted back. "There wasn't anyone to help me before so why now?"

His question was a complex one that I had asked myself, but I think now after fighting side by side with Levi rather than against him, I had finally found my answer. I responded calmly, mustering up the courage to answer both his question and my own. "Because that's the way this world is. You have to fight to survive, and it doesn't end. You can either keep running away or finally face it head on. But rather than constantly fighting alone, wouldn't it be better to fight by someone's side?" I walked forward a few steps, and Connie held his knife up.

"Stay back!" he yelled, eyes distrusting and narrowed. Beneath that shark-like exterior, it was easy to see that he was just some scared kid, afraid to reveal himself to anyone, but maybe, just maybe I could change that. Each step I took felt like I was breaking past that stagnant web I've been caught in for years. My body wasn't moving without a soul to lead it anymore. I had a purpose: I wanted to help him. 

I was only a few feet away from Connie now, the dagger shaking in his hands with hesitation evident in his expression. Just a few more steps and----

Suddenly, tight arms wrapped around me and pulled me back. I could see Connie's eyes widen in surprise before Levi appeared behind him and hit him in the head with his forearm, knocking him out. As Connie's body slid to the floor, I broke out from whoever was grabbing me and caught his upper body.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled at Levi who took cuffs out from his back pocket and cuffed Connie's wrists behind his back. Levi dragged Connie's body up away from my arms, the kid just barely conscious.

"What were you thinking, _______?" Eren's voice rang in my ears as he approached me from behind. Suddenly, those arms seemed really familiar. He pointed over towards Connie. "This guy has killed before."

My eyes widened, a sudden clamp halting the blood flow to my heart. "Killed? But Levi didn't mention anything other than theft...."

"It was in self defense according to his record. That's why he's not being charged, but that doesn't change the fact that he's tasted blood. You shouldn't trust people like that, no matter what the circumstances." 

Mikasa walked over to Eren's side, and both held some sort of guilty look in their eyes that I couldn't decipher. My hands fell to my lap uselessly. 

"_______?" Mikasa said as she tried to come closer.

"Leave me alone," I retorted coldly, standing up with no help and brushing myself off. "If this is a matter of being a murderer, aren't you forgetting to include me for our mother's murder, Eren?" I shot a cold glare towards my brother whose initial shock turned into detachment.

Mikasa stepped in. "_______, that's ----"

"What? That's not what? Not appropriate? Not right? Out of line? No, you're the one who's out of line, Mikasa. Who are you to tell me who to trust and who not to trust?" I interrupted. My world was shaking in red glory, hot steam shooting from the floor like a geyser. "You lied to me about the Survey Corps, and I _trusted_ you." I stared back at Mikasa with an intense gaze, dead set on instilling some sort of emotion in her normally passive face. Why did they have to make me feel so useless?

"Hey brats," Levi called with Connie thrown over his shoulder. "Erwin says we have to get out now. The police are on their way."

I quickly turned to follow behind Levi, not bothering to look back at the guilt-filled faces of my friend and my brother. _In the end, I hadn't been able to help anyone, not even myself._

\-----------------------

_If we're talking about murder, my heart has been stabbed multiple times. By the death of my mother, by the disappearance of my father, by the lies of my friends Petra and Mikasa, by the hate of my brother Eren. I wonder if there's anyone left who hasn't lied to me all this time._

"Ahek!"

I heard Connie stir, hacking as he started to gain consciousness. 

"Yo," I said to him, letting the back rest against the wall of the van. Every bump resonated within my body as I tried to clear my mind. 

"Where the fuck am I?" he threatened, or at least tried to. His body was still sore from our fight earlier. It took him a while to finally sit up. 

The back of my head hit the wall with a light thud. "Well, as you can see, we're sitting on the floor of a van," I responded with a soft sigh, looking over to the thin wall that separated the three front seats occupied by Levi and Erwin. I got stuck with the task of babysitting Connie. "We're going to the Survey Corps."

"Where's my friend?" he spat out his next question. I looked in Connie's direction. It was dark, but I could already imagine the expression on his face, probably similar to mine earlier when I spoke back to Mikasa and Eren. 

"She's fine, eating a giant ass lump of meat in another van. It turns out she's a lot nicer than you (and easier to manipulate), so we didn't even need to use the cuffs on her."

Connie then took note of the cuffs but didn't even bother to try to remove them. 

"Yeah, they block your powers. Fun shit, right?" I slouched down, eyes cast to the floor on my side. I kept wondering why Eren was even in the Survey Corps and why he never told me.

Connie scooted to the wall opposite to me. "What the hell is your problem?" he interrogated, his knees bent in front of him in a crude manner. "You were all motivational and shit earlier. Made me lower my guard long enough for your friggin asshole runt mentor to knock me out."

It took a while for it to hit me, but when it finally did, I burst out laughing, loud enough for Connie's face to twist in confusion but not loud enough for Erwin and Levi to hear. "Talk about calling the kettle black!" I joked, hand muffling my incessant laughter. 

"You're friggin' weird."

"And you're short."

Connie waited for me to top laughing before asking his fourth question. "Why weren't you all happy-go-lucky just now?"

My giggling halted, and a sore smile formed instead. "Because I already told you. I'm like you."

"Yeah, you're like me?" Connie muttered hatefully. "An orphan on the streets who's fighting to survive with his meat-loving idiot friend only to be thwarted by you privileged Survey Corps nutjobs who like to act like you're holier than thou?"

"Yeah. I'm like you."

"The fuck."

"Really. I have my story too."

"By all means, go ahead and share. It's not like I'm going anywhere." Connie's cuffs clanked together as he readjusted himself against the wall. 

I shrugged in response. No harm in sharing I guessed. "Well, long story short, Mom was murdered. Dad disappeared in thin air. My family abandoned me, so I used to fight for money until the Survey Corps captured me 2 days ago and made me one of their own. And then I just found out that my brother who I haven't spoken to in years is also a part of the Corps along with my best friend who lied to me about not knowing anything about the organization and about having powers." It was a mouthful of an explanation.

Connie whistled with wide eyes while I caught my breath. "Well damn, this is why I'm an only child."

"Yeah, and I have no idea what to say to him. He's hated me ever since our mom was murdered."

The back of my head left the van's wall and my forehead met with the knees bent in front of me. My hands scratched at my head. I was so confused, so lost right now. I didn't care how I looked in front of Connie. I could care less about the world around me. I just wanted to be in my own world right now. I wanted to go back to the past. 

"Why don't you talk to him? Or try at least?" Connie suggested. "I dunno cuz I don't have siblings and shit like that, but Sasha and I get into fights pretty often that we solve by talking it out....and by food occasionally. I recommend giving him a potato. That usually helps with Sasha."

I lifted my head off my knees just to face palm myself, but his words still brought a smile to my face. No matter what he had been through, Connie had a child's mind. "I really don't think a potato is going to solve 3 years worth of familial issues," I scoffed lightly.

"Hmm." Connie scratched at his chin before offering another suggestion. "Then in that case, for bigger problems, I add meat to the equation!" 

And that was when I lost it. The look on his face was so serious that I couldn't resist now. I laughed loudly, loud enough for Erwin and Levi to stare at me from the front like I had gone mental, but I didn't care. It was so rare that a genuine laugh bubbled out of my throat that I almost choked on air. I tapped against my chest and was able to relieve the pressure in my thorax with a couple coughs. Connie was a bit confused, hesitant to offer some sort of assistance perhaps in the form of a Heimlich maneuver, though I'm not sure how he planned to carry that out with his hands tied behind his back.

Once I had finally calmed down, a smile spread across my lips. "Connie, you're a funny guy. Really, you are." I giggled just a tiny bit, failing to register the blush that stretched across his cheeks.

"Thanks, I guess."

\----------------------

"Hey Levi, I'm going out for a bit," I called from the other side of the door separating our apartments. Bending down to tie my shoe laces, I sighed ungracefully, my body tired from the day's previous events. We had finally made it back to the Survey Corps headquarters. Sasha and Connie were given their own rooms after taking an oath to abide by the Survey Corps laws. I suppose I was surprised to see Connie give in so easily, but I guess something in him changed, hopefully for the better.

"Don't take too long, kid," Levi replied casually from the other side, not caring that his fresh, daisy-scented laundry was strong enough to seep into my apartment. I would have made a mental note to just avoid being anywhere near his apartment on laundry days, but according to Levi, every day was laundry day. How fun.

A heavy groan from Levi made my ears perk up in interest. "Fucking Hanji," Levi muttered as he watched the news reporter do a special on the supposed "Attack on Food Mart." Apparently, one member of the public had gotten a recording on his phone of what conspired this morning when Hanji brought out the big guns (quite literally). Fortunately, his recording had cut off short before he was able to zoom in on Hanji's face. 

But unfortunately for her, Hanji was still getting chewed out by Erwin for not coming up with a more "civilized" method of evacuating the public and for using this mission as an opportunity to cosplay as her favorite cartoon character and use real guns while she was at it.

Upon hearing their initial arguments behind closed doors, I felt compelled to tell Erwin that anime was in fact not a cartoon but decided to leave it alone after hearing Erwin threaten to take away all of Hanji's gadgets if she "pulled that shit again." He reduced the third-in-command to a weeping, blubbering mess, all while using proper English and the calmest tone I had ever heard in my entire life. 

After that, I made a mental note not to get on his bad side. 

I locked my apartment door and took the stairs down, counting the salary Erwin had paid me for this mission. I have to admit. He paid well. It was enough money to buy ramen noodles for at least 3 months, but unfortunately, that type of lifestyle was deemed unacceptable by Levi who arbitrarily decided that he would cook for me just so that he wouldn't have to smell the "stink" of my Ramen noodles. I honestly just think the prissy bitch has a sensitive nose, a really well-sculpted, sensitive nose. Nonetheless, I guess I was grateful for getting to eat real food. Petra had always bothered me about eating healthy.

 _Ah._ My gait paused as I looked around, expecting to find some sort of external link or reason for her to come to mind, but there was nothing around me except for the dim street lights and cold air. Maybe it was the fact that she came to mind so naturally that made my heart ache. I guess I couldn't forget her, and I wasn't willing to forgive her. I still had so many questions, answers that would have to wait.  

I continued down the path to the grocery store, mentally reading off the grocery list that Levi had given me. The scarf tangled around my neck brought little protection from the biting air, so I threw my hood over my head and buried my face deeper into the soft fabric. Tomorrow was Monday and also the beginning of our long break from school. No one would be there except for some clubs and sports teams. And because some students would still be on campus, Petra would still be in her nurse's office. I figured I could drop by some time to ask Petra why she helped the Survey Corps capture me. For now, I still had time to clear my thoughts. I had time, but no amount of time felt like it would be enough.

I entered the store, a small bell ringing as the door shut behind me. I picked up some milk, tomatoes, onions, garlic, Levi's favorite Earl Grey tea bags, checking off the items listed one by one as they filled the cart. I even threw in some Ramen noodle cups for good measure, just in case I had any of those strange hormonal cravings. After finally checking out, I left the store and trekked back to the headquarters. 

I thought a night out would clear my mind, help my heart regain its normal rhythm. But alas, it seemed that life never allowed for a moment of relaxation. My heart nearly shot out of my ribs when I heard his voice behind me. A sharp shooting pain made my soul quake. Frazzled, I turned around to meet Eren's sea green eyes which never lost focus of me, even for a split second. 

"We need to talk."

I shifted uncomfortably. His voice was still strange to my ears. Puberty was really something. But he was right. We did need to talk...though I wasn't sure if we were on the same page entirely about where this discussion would head. 

"What about?"

There was an awkward silence between us, as if Eren had already picked up on my cautious response. I was on guard, and honestly, so was he. What were we supposed to talk about? What was I supposed to say to him after all these years? Sorry I wasn't a great sister, but you really need to leave the Survey Corps? Ugh, this was probably the worst day of my life.

His voice finally broke the mute air that choked us both. "Why are you here? In the Survey Corps?" he asked. Eren's eyes narrowed at my shorter being, as if I was some little bug. Did he think I was some kind of stalker or something?

I defended myself but tried to avoid being aggressive in my response. "Don't get the wrong idea, Eren. I'm here because the Survey Corps decided to sell my apartment and make me homeless," I answered back and returned the same glare. No matter how patient, I couldn't put a brake on this last sentence though. "But from what I hear, this organization is for people with powers. What are you doing here?"

"That's none of your concern."

"The hell it is, Eren. What the fuck are you doing here?" A heated anger radiated throughout my body. Did he even realize how dangerous this was? How hard Mom fought to keep us alive? And now he was going to throw it all away...for what?

Eren was silent for a moment, studying my enraged face. That was new. My brother actually had a brain to think before he spoke? 

"I want revenge. There's a guy I'm looking for. He's responsible for Mom's death and also a threat to the Survey Corps. I want him to pay for what he did." Eren's fists clenched hard, nails digging into the hardened flesh of a boy with callouses of a man. It wasn't just his voice that had matured. It was his entire being. He had matured into a vengeful adult, red caution tapes surrounding his heart and knives pointed at any intruders. He seemed to have cut himself off from the world, as if revenge was his only goal. At least, that's what his the change in his eyes told me, they way they changed from such a passive look to something resembling a focused assassin, set on one goal no matter the consequences. I too felt like him at some point. I wanted the people who wronged me to pay, but in the end, I realized how easy it is to lose people forever and that I just wanted to cherish what I had left. 

"Eren, that's not going to fix anything," I tried to explain calmly. He had matured so much, and yet he seemed so childish in my eyes, like a child wanting to scribble over another kid's drawings just because that kid stole his favorite dinosaur toy. No one would win in a situation like that, and Eren was only putting himself in more danger. I'd already lost almost everything. Why would I want to lose the last of my family?

"It's not a matter of fixing or not! I want that bastard to pay for what he did to our family!" Eren nearly shouted, his deep voice reverberating in my ear drums. 

"Eren! What good would revenge do? There's so much more to life than this."

"Like what?" he spat out. "That bastard took all I have! There's nothing left for me except revenge."

 _But....can't you see that I'm still here? Can't you see how much we've already lost? I don't want to lose you._

Anger masked the hurt, the pain of hearing that Eren "lost all he had." Was I truly that unimportant to him? Was I truly just someone he wished had disappeared that day? 

"How the hell do you expect to do anything the way you are now? You don't even have powers!" My voice was breaking slowly, my insides churning. Poisonous words seeped through my body. Loved. Cherished. Those words pinched at my innards and left red marks all over my heart. 

Eren's teeth grit against each other, his nostrils flaring. I could already tell what he was remembering, our mother's death. He knew how she died. He saw how the giant beasts ate her, and since then, he's seen the world through a red-stained window. Why couldn't I have been the one to see it instead?

"You had powers," Eren said, a hateful tone diffuse in his words. The next sentence seemed to slip off his tongue, as if it had always been in the back of his mind and he held back from sharing them. "You had powers, and you couldn't save Mom. Who the hell are you to talk?"

There was a shattering sound, not a crack, a shatter. The pieces scattered across the floor. His voice, his body language. Was Eren really beyond saving? Was I not able to make him see past that red stained world so that he could see me? See Mikasa? See anyone who could bring him back from hate.

_....Was it my fault for leaving him by himself?_

My hands grew numb, and my voice no longer sounded. Haze filled my vision, and I lost focus. 

"It should have been me."

I mouthed those words to myself.

"It should have been me."

The words were said aloud now, and Eren paused.

It was already evident that there was nothing more I could say to change him. It was so pitiful. He didn't even realize what kind of monster he was turning into, and I felt the pain he should have felt, the pain he could have felt had I not left him, the pain that would have saved him from this. 

_I miss my little brother._

I turned to walk away without another word except the ones that reverberated in my head. It should have been me. I couldn't think anymore. It should have been me. What was I even doing here?

_I miss how he used to hug me. I miss how he used to care about me._

An older sister is supposed to protect her brother, but I wasn't an older sister. I was nothing but a piece of useless shit. Trash. Was there anything I could do to save him now? 

Somehow, my legs had lead me back to my apartment. Slowly, finger by finger, the bags of groceries descended from my grip as I leaned into the door that connected Levi and my apartments. My butt hit the ground with a soft thud, the scent of daisies filling my nostrils. 

"Hey, you got the groceries, right?"

Levi's voice was so much quieter than the ones in my head. I almost didn't even hear him. I wanted to respond. I needed to. I didn't want him to see me. I didn't want anything. I just wanted to suffer. Alone. But my airways felt so constricted, I could barely breathe. 

"Tch, damn kid probably has earphones in her ear," Levi said. "Make sure you put that shit in the refrigerator!" he shouted. I heard footsteps from the other side slowly disappear.

And after that, I heard no more. That daisy scent finally disappeared, and I could let go. Hot tears kissed my cheeks and ran down my jaw line as I quietly sobbed. It was one thing to assume that Eren had hated me, another to hear it from his lips. But the hardest part was seeing him deteriorate like that, morph into something so unfamiliar. And it was sad, because I could see the small remnants of our past in him and yet, he couldn't see those things. He was blinded, and that was my fault. 

I tried to calm down. I rested my forehead on my knees and tried to disappear into my own world, but the doors wouldn't open. Images clogged my mind, Eren laying on the ground with blood seeping from his body, a death without a purpose. And then I saw myself, my own monster. The one who couldn't save anyone, the true one who had run away. If Eren was a monster for accepting hatred and breeding his own, I was a monster for hiding it away behind my back, giving it a home to live and fester in his mind. I could have intercepted. I should have. But I didn't. 

And that realization choked me. Bruises on my neck, hands flailing to find support. I was sealed in a vacuum, a vacuum of self-loathing. Nothing could stop me. Nothing could save me from these repeated images that tortured my being, is what I thought.

But a sudden daisy scent seeped into my senses, washed away the scenes from my mind, clouded my thoughts so that I could no longer think. My eyes directed upward, I blinked away my tears.

Levi.

A cold arm wrapped around me, a frigid hand around my wrists. My head fell against his shoulder. It was unexpected, uncalled for, but my mind was finally blank, truly empty. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel. I couldn't think. All I could do was breathe, breathe in that familiar daisy scent. 

\---------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

(oh holy fucking shit this took forever to write.)

Let's remember that the hateful reader is dedicated to my younger self and the depressed reader is dedicated to my older self and the comforted reader is dedicated to my future self. :) I hope you all liked this chapter. I worked really hard on balancing description and dialogue and truly trying to get all of you guys to see through the same window that the reader sees even though yall don't have a brother named Eren LOL. 

Thoughts or suggestions anyone? I'm really looking for any sort of feedback because whew, I have no idea how yall will respond to this. XD Please let me know and thank you for waiting for so long <3 I appreciate it so much :)


	7. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys but I hope you like it. :) Thank you always for reading and feel free to ask any questions! <3

Remind Me to Breathe (RMTB) Chapter 7

Pitch black greeted my vision, save for a tiny bit of yellow hue that seeped in from the bottom ledge of the door. Even with that bit of light, my vision was still cloudy, and my surroundings felt unfamiliar. I couldn't remember the bedroom in my apartment having a mahogany desk and a vintage night lamp...or a bookshelf. 

And then that daisy scent hit me like a slap in the face. Fuck, I was in Levi's room. 

"Ugh," I groaned loudly as my fingers massaged my temples. I struggled to turn my head towards the balcony window. The sky was still dark, the pitter-patter of rain tapping on the glass. My eyes shut tightly as my mind tried to recall what had happened. The last thing I remember was confronting Eren, somehow making it back home, and then being wrapped in Levi's arms...

...and then I honestly probably passed out from that insanely strong daisy cologne of his. I mean seriously, the man could really poison someone with that stuff. 

As I tried to lift my body from the bed, I suddenly became aware of the wracking pain on the side of my head, a ferocious beat that drilled its way through the core of my patience. I gave up trying to support myself and let my body fall back into the soft covers. 

For some reason, being in a strange man's room just seemed to remind me of this one scene from an anime called Sailor Moon Crystal where Sailor Moon wakes up in Tuxedo Mask's bedroom after he saves her. I watched that scene about a week ago, before any of this Survey Corps business happened, before Erwin sold my apartment and forced me to join under Levi's mentorship. Back then, I guess I could call things a little more "normal." 

I remember that day. I had finally reached my empty home, clothed tattered and torn thanks to a gang who thought they were good enough to challenge me to a fight. None of that really mattered though. I beat them all, picked their pockets, and made enough money to pay for the groceries that week. The most important thing however was just getting home on time. After all, every Thursday evening was Sailor Moon evening.

Maybe it was the frilly skirts that appealed to me, or maybe the sparkles and shiny scepter just caught my attention. Or maybe those were all just excuses to avoid admitting that I'm a shoujo-addict. I don't know. The thought of fighting as a hero of justice and defender of love all while finding your one true life partner...maybe those things just really appealed to me since they were so foreign. 

Yeah, I guess I've always wanted to find a way to use my inhumane strength for something other than beating kids out of their lunch money. And maybe I sort of felt like...Levi was my knight in shining armor last night.

Last night, I hadn't really expected him to notice anything different about me from behind the door that separated our apartments, but he did. He saved me from doing any harm to myself, and for that, I was....

Grateful. 

I laid still in bed silently staring up at the ceiling. There were no more tears left to shed, no more thoughts that occluded my mind. I wasn't sure how I would face Eren again, but I also wasn't the type to dwell in depression for long. So what if he hated me? Hadn't it been this way for years? If he wanted to put his life into the Survey Corps, then that was his decision. He was 15 already, old enough to know right from wrong. 

And I was 18, old enough to mind my own business. 

I sat up from the covers and pushed them aside. Swinging my feet over the bed, my soles met with the icy floor that nearly froze them in place. My palms slid over my cold thighs, hoping to create some warmth from the friction, but I felt something suddenly jab out of my pocket. 

It was my charm bracelet. Ugh. The very sight of it was like drinking in poison, every charm a reminder of lies and distrust from people who I _had_ loved. My attention locked specifically on the small charm that Eren had given me as a child, a small key to serve as a reminder to open that time capsule we buried almost 6 years ago back at our old and probably deserted wreck of a home. Tch, like I even remember what sort of crap we wrote back then to our future selves. We had promised to open that treasure chest when I turned 18 and when Eren was 15, but seeing as how the tense rope of our current relationship had already snapped, I doubted we'd ever follow through with that promise. 

_Broken and forgotten promises. Story of my life much._

The charm bracelet brought nothing but a sour look to my face, so I dumped it in one of Levi's nightstand drawers, hoping to never see it again. 

Feeling as though a boulder of stress had been relieved, I stretched by body backwards, a soothing yawn escaping my lips. "To make the bed, or to not make the bed...that is the question," I hummed to myself, tapping my chin. A small, teasing smile formed on my face as I imagined Levi's reaction to the crumpled mess that lay over his personal space. 

"You better fucking make that bed."

Like an alleycat observing his prey, Levi was leaning on the wall near the door, his body lax but eyes focused, silver bullets piercing firmly into mine.

_Pew pew._

His presence shot a biting shiver that shook every vertebrae in my spine. "Bloody hell," I muttered indiscreetly.

"Yeah, bloody hell is right," Levi grunted back. "My bed looks like a fucking train wreck. Fix it and hurry up. Breakfast is ready."

"But it's still night time!" I complained.

"No, brat. It's already 8 am. There's a storm outside, so that's why it's so dark. Now hurry the fuck up. I hate cold tea."

He left, the door swinging in his absence. Ugh, if Levi had returned to the kitchen only a few seconds later, I could have added some snarky comment but alas, he was long gone before I could make some joke about how children shouldn't be allowed to drink tea. 

So much for that "knight in shining armor" image. 

Sighing, I quickly made the bed, patting the uneven portions until it was as flat as an iron board. Utter perfection. Levi would be proud. Satisfied with my work, I walked out towards the dining table where Levi was already sipping on his tea and reading the morning newspaper. Cold tea, my ass. He had never planned on waiting for me anyways. 

"Sit," he ordered me. 

A slight seed of irritation planted itself in the roots of my patience, but I washed it off. I wasn't too fond of being treated like a lowly pet, but I was still in Levi's debt. Complying with his request, I sat and began spreading butter on the toast. Silence took the stage, front and center. I guess it was normal to expect some sort of conversation at the table, but Levi and I shared neither words nor glances. Nah, actually, that's not what was making this unnatural at all. In all honestly, I was someone who was used to skipping breakfast and grabbing a fruit bar instead or waking up early to watch television and munch on cereal. Alone. But eating with someone else?

It reminded me of my family. 

The revived memories made my fingers shake with hesitation, bread crumbs spilling over the plate until I finally gave up and placed the bread and butter knife down. I couldn't stomach this without knowing why. 

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I finally asked.

I stared intensely at his face, but Levi refused to turn his gaze towards me, his eyes scanning the small black font of his newspaper. 

"Because I had my morning tea today," he responded. "It helps me put up with bullshit."

Hands clenched at my sides. That wasn't enough of an answer. There had to be another reason, right? But...wait. Pause. 

Stop. 

What was I trying to do? Was I trying to find a reason to rely on Levi? Was I trying to find some sort of pillar of support? As if I could throw all my issues onto someone else. I had already learned time and time again that in this world, we're always alone. Our issues are our own, and relying on someone else only made things worse when they couldn't help you, when they broke your trust. Hadn't Petra already taught me this? I had trusted her, and she had practically sold me off to the Survey Corps. 

A sudden anger was directed towards the futility of even trying to rely on someone. The emotion fumed beneath my exterior. I pushed my chair out and readied to leave. I had planned on visiting Petra today anyways to confront her about why she had helped the Survey Corps capture me. There was no need for me to stay any longer and cause more trouble than I already had. 

"Sit," Levi demanded.

"I have somewhere to go, and I made your bed. I'll clean the dishes so just let me----"

"Sit."

His second command was more effective, his sharp voice forcing the small hairs on my arm stand, as if they were his little minions or something. 

"Oh...kay..."

And so was I. I fell prey to the deadlock stare Levi gave me and immediately paused before sitting back down, shoulders hunched and arms planted in my lap. My body shifted nervously in my seat as I waited for Levi to speak. What more did he have to say to me? 

Taking one last sip from his tea cup, he finally placed his newspaper down and removed his reading glasses. "Erwin," he began as his long fingers elegantly folded the glasses into his shirt collar, "placed you under my protection, so that includes dealing with any mental and physical bullshit. There's no time for you to be lacking in either when you're in the Survey Corps. It'll lead to your death. Now tell me. Where do you plan on going?"

It was none of his business, but I assumed he just didn't want me to return in the same wrecked state as I had last night. "I wanted to visit Petra," I answered. 

"Tch. That woman, huh?" Levi spat out in a distasteful manner.

"What? You know Petra?" I questioned curiously. Right. I had never asked Petra about her connection with the Survey Corps. Was she here too? Was she still part of the Survey Corps? How did she and Levi know each other?

Levi was silent for a moment before he picked up his tea again. I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall with one swallow. 

"We have history."

...

.....

.........

.............history? Like "history-history?" Like, "fucked each other in a side alley" history?!?! My face contorted into a mortified expression as I imagined all the sorts of "history" that could happen between a sexually frustrated female like Petra and a dominant, masculine male like Levi. And Levi must have noticed because he nearly spit out his tea after getting a good look at my face.

"Get your disgusting, filthy mind out of the gutter, you wench," Levi hissed aggressively as he wiped his mouth. He leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms as frustration set into his features. "Tch. The Survey Corps was after my ass, and Petra was the squad leader who lead the mission. She did a damn good job one time messing up my fucking arm."

"Wait, Petra had a squad?! Will I meet them?"

"Probably not. She said they're dead."

"...how?" I inquired further. And wait. The Survey Corps had been after Levi, too? What was he like before he joined? Had he been a criminal, some sort of thug? Or maybe a rich bitch who thought he could rule the world with money and power. After all, I could see some "mafia" in Levi if he would just gel his hair backwards. Before I could continue my assault on Levi's personal affairs, Hanji burst into the apartment. Her frazzled brown hair and lopsided glasses weren't necessarily out of the ordinary, but something about her was off. She pushed the rim up her nose ungracefully, her nose pointed high to the ceiling. 

"Erwin's calling an emergency meeting! We need to meet in the conference room. Stat."

Levi nodded and collected the dishes as Hanji sped out of the room. I briskly walked over to the sink and joined Levi to help. 

"What sort of emergency meeting could it be? Is it bad?" I questioned Levi as he poured soap onto the sponge. 

He ran luke-warm water over the dishes before scrubbing them. "Who knows. There's no such thing as a good or bad emergency. They're all bad."

"Oh."

I remained tight-lipped for the rest of the time. He washed. I dried. And our forearms awkwardly rubbed against each other a few times in-between. Levi might have been short, but his broad shoulders made it difficult for me to stand directly side-by-side and reach over to dry the wet dishes, so instead, I stood slightly in front of Levi, half of my body encased by his broad back. I guess at such a close proximity, it was normal for me to blush when his chest lightly touched my back. The warmth I felt from the friction of our bodies seemed to encase me in a protective hug. 

I know. I shouldn't be saying this, and maybe I was just sticking to Levi after losing trust in my other friends, but being by his side was...comfortable. Out of everybody I had met so far, I think I felt the most "okay" with Levi, if that made any sense at all.

"Alright. Let's head down," Levi said as we placed the last of the dishes away. He strode towards the door, one hand reaching towards the knob while the other hand slipped into the pockets of his black sweatpants. My breath halted as my arm twitched to reach out. It felt as if his fingers were hovering above the slit for minutes. Was I really going to ask him something so stupid? Could I? 

Sudden memories of our first encounter struck my mind. The recall was so realistic that I felt as if I was in the ring again, scrunching my nose at that musky, sweaty air when Levi's weird daisy smell caught me by surprise. And I remembered the first time I looked into Levi's eyes. I remembered how he seemed to have much more depth beyond his exterior presence. It made me want to question his past, why he felt so similar to me, why those jaded eyes seemed like I was staring at a mirror image of myself. 

Eyelids shut tight, I opened them and was brought back in the present, where Levi's fingers where just barely about to dig into his pocket. I inhaled sharply and took hold of his hand roughly. I needed to ask this.

Levi turned in my direction, an eyebrow raised as he stared at me. He neither pulled his hand away nor swatted me away. He seemed intent on listening. 

And maybe that's what made me so nervous. "Is it okay...to rely on you....if stuff like...last night happens?"

My pleading eyes looked up at him with pure honesty. I don't know if I had ever really asked for anyone's help until this moment. I guess people like Mikasa and Petra had always offered, but this time, I don't know why but I just wanted Levi. There was something about him, a connection I felt like I could make with him if we got to know each other a bit better. There wasn't any certainty in any of this at all, but what did I have to lose? 

I only then realized how strongly my nervous fingers had been gripping his hand, enough to turn his palm a slightly more pale color. I released my grip, the blood circulation kicking back in again and his palm filling with color. I just kept my eyes low and focused on his calloused hand, tracing the outlines of every crease from the start of his lifeline down to his wrist. I already knew that if I dared to stare him in the eye, my throbbing, anxious heart was going to spring out of my chest. 

"Can you rely on me?" Levi repeated. 

I looked up at him curiously but the way Levi was staring back at me told me that it wasn't just a repetition; it was a question he had posed to me. Could I truly trust him?

"There's nothing certain in this world," Levi stated, his eyes focused on another corner of the room as if he were recalling something. His eyelids fell, his short eyelashes hovered over pale, soft skin until he opened his eyes again and looked directly into mine. "Nothing is permanent, and because of that, no one can make promises that they'll keep for certain. Something could happen. And things do happen in the Survey Corps."

My hands were limp by my sides. Everything he said was so true; it made so much so sense. However, it hurt to realize that in this cruel world, there was nothing to hold onto except yourself. His frankness had caught me by surprise, my lips parted but no words forming. I wasn't sure how to feel. This wasn't a rejection, but...

"It's your choice who you put your faith in. Even I can't tell you if I'm a good person or not," Levi explained. "Can you still put your trust in someone as uncertain as me?"

....Would it selfish to interpret his honesty as a way of protecting me, my feelings, my trust? He hadn't given me a "yes" or "no" answer, but Levi was living up to his duty as my mentor, guiding my decisions towards an understanding of the consequences. Putting my trust in him could result in the same way that putting my trust in Petra or Mikasa did, and then there was a chance that it couldn't. Maybe it's a bit of a longshot to say this, but I felt like this was Levi's way of showing his concern and care for me. 

The weary but perceptive eyes beneath his jet black bangs, the stone face that waited for my answer, held a maturity that could only be gained through years of understanding the bullets of life that shot down every hope that you'd ever held onto. It had been immature of me before to say that Levi was similar to me. No, he had been through much more pain and much more loss. And perhaps that's why his superficial apathy seemed to mask the more important features beneath his seemingly numb face. I could sense it. 

_I wanted to know more about him._

"I see...I understand, Levi. Thank you," I smiled towards him. I had made my decision.

"Tch, why are you thanking me? I didn't do anything." Levi frowned at my expression, but my smiled remained. He sighed and looked away from me, ruffling my hair. "Come on, let's get going, kid."

"Levi, I'm not a pet," I faked a pout, but a hint of a grin was already showing on my face. 

"Oh really?" he mused at how I struggled to hold back a smile. "You just seem to remind me of a puppy that used to follow me around and call me 'aniki.'"

"Eh? What was its name?"

Levi paused. "Her name was Isabel."

Isabel...like the name on the back of the photograph that I found between the books on Levi's bookshelf. Isabel Magnolia, the name written on the back of that photograph along with the name "Farlan Church." 

Maybe one day if I ever get the chance, I'll ask Levi about them. 

"Hurry up," Levi called as he walked out without holding the door for me. It was alright though. I didn't want to falsely paint Levi as some white knight in blazing armor. He didn't come off as someone who would play the main protagonist. He seemed more like someone wasn't officially recognized as a leader but rather as a sort of person who people looked up to and followed. I was in awe of his quiet strength. My curiosity was at its peak, a desire to learn more about the man behind that apathetic countenance growing inside the deep wells of my soul. And so I trailed behind Levi, closing the door and checking the handle to make sure that it automatically locked. I didn't bother to set my hair again, hoping to preserve this memory somehow.

Levi was right. It was my choice who to put my trust in, and it was always up to the other party whether to preserve or break that trust. Putting your faith in someone else...maybe that was a fool's choice, but Levi had put his trust in the Survey Corps as had I. Perhaps it was because he also strived to change his stagnant lifestyle, whatever sort of person he had been before the Survey Corps. And now, I had decided to blindly put my faith in Levi, but that was just the sort of person I am. 

You could sell me out, you could lie to me, you could hate me, but as long as I'm alive,

**I won't stop moving forward.**

\-------------

10 am, Monday

"Soldiers, last night there was a breach in the walls," Erwin announced from the top of the stage. Concerned chatter erupted among the men and women gathered on the floor of the conference room.

"The titans are coming."

"What are we going to do?"

"Isn't this the second breach in 3 weeks? Why aren't those damned Garrison troops repairing the walls better?"

"I don't want to fight. I don't want to fight."

Their high-pitched and frightened voices filled my ears. 'What were they talking about?' I thought. What were titans? What walls? 

I would have turned to Levi to ask, but he and I had separated once we reached the room. He had gone to find Erwin and was now standing towards the back of the stage with Hanji and another blonde man with a big nose. "Mike", I think is what they called him. Eren and Mikasa also made their appearance, dressed in casual clothes like the other soldiers around us. They had entered a bit later than Levi and me, probably because they live with my grandparents instead of at the Survey Corps headquarters. Judging by Eren's apparent bedhead, I supposed they got an early wake up call from Hanji too.

Before Eren could turn to see me, I quickly ducked behind another soldier, hoping to avoid eye contact. I was done with him, finished with him and Mikasa and their stupid lies. The Survey Corps was my priority now, and I needed to focus on this new mission. 

"Soldiers!"

Erwin's voice rose above the incessant chatter, creating a sort of stillness in the air as if he were about to deliver a prophecy. Whatever these titan things were, they were clearly trouble. 

"Ever since the Titan Creator turned against the Survey Corps, we have had to live in fear of him and his titans. He murders our own and then uses them against us for one purpose, to rule over all of humanity. New recruits, heed my warning. One wrong move, and you could wind up dead, or worse, you could end up fighting for the enemy instead." Erwin's thick brows sharply descended over his eyes, a long breath making his nostrils flare. "We predict that the titans will attack the south wall at dusk, so we'll be setting out at noon today to prepare camp. Gear up and be ready to leave in 4 hours. Dismissed."

"What in the hell is he talking about?" I muttered as the soldiers saluted the commander and turned to leave. Their faces held a new expression of determination as opposed to the fear they held only minutes before. But...what did Erwin mean? Who was this titan creator? What kind of ability allowed him to turn a soldier against the Survey Corps? Some sort of body manipulation maybe?

"Hey, ________!" someone suddenly yelled from across the room. 

My body stiffened, but as soon as my ears processed the familiar voice, my lips curved into a small smile. 

"Connie! What are you doing here?" I asked as that cute bald-headed runt approached me. He was grinning ear to ear, a much needed improvement from yesterday's events. 

"I got recruited to the Survey Corps, remember?" he explained as he showed off his green cape. He was already dressed in fighting attire, knee high brown boots, white pants, and a tan jacket along with the Survey Corps Cloak. As he turned back around to face forward, I noticed his expression darken slightly. "So are you ready to face them? The titans?" he asked seriously, his normally wide eyes narrowed into ones of concern. 

"What? You know what titans are?" I asked in surprise. Wow, was I just a dumbass or something? I had been in the Survey Corps longer (2 days longer), but even Connie knew what titans were!

"Holy shit." A taller dusty, brown-haired male ever so rudely expressed as he approached us and threw an arm around Connie. He pointed at me. "I thought you were big game since you participated in the mission to capture Sasha and Connie, but you joined the Survey Corps without even knowing what titans are? Man, you must really be something!" He howled, tears forming at the ends of his eyes as he wiped them away.

Me on the other hand--well, my fists twitched to punch whoever this new guy was. Sass my ass. This guy was a dick. "Keep in mind that I am big game cuz I can kick your ass any day," I declared as I pointed right back at him. "Who the fuck are you anyways?" I spat out with my arms crossed over my chest. The guy's laughter halted abruptly, his jaw practically hanging open at the sight of my crude and unlady-like behavior. My eyebrow raised in amusement while my finger tip tapped over the dorsum of my hand. I was waiting.

Sensing an opening, Connie took advantage at the guy's initial shock and grabbed his hand to shove him off the smaller boy's shoulder. Though the taller male was caught by surprise, he unfortunately remained unphased as he stood up straight to introduce himself. He brushed his shirt off with a flick of his wrist like a pompous bitch. "Hm, is that a challenge?" he teased with a sly smirk, that previous deadpan expression having dissolved. "Well, I guess I should tell you they call me---"

"Horseface," Connie interrupted.

" _Jean_ ," the other male corrected with emphasis as he nudged Connie in the side with his elbow. The shorter boy grunted in sharp pain. "So I'm Connie's roommate, and he told me a lot about you last night. Would you like to catch dinner some time?"

His gaze was charged with a sort of playful twinkle, his grin brimming with a flawless arrogance, just the type I like...to put down like a mutt. 

And just like that, one of the locks on the chest of my patience broke, and I smiled right back at Jean, devious thoughts circulating my mind like a vulture circling its prey. Almost instinctively, Connie slowly scooted away from Jean whose attention was diverted by the hot, strong, and bold female that stood before him. 

"So you wanna take me to dinner?" I asked loverboy as I poked his chest in a provoking manner, drawing light circles into his shirt. Jean must have been all talk and no game because he gulped nervously, a blush rising to his cheeks as he stared down at my half-lidded eyes and pink lips. 

"Uhh, well...I--" Jean stuttered as he tried to wrack his brain for something intelligible to say. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind. 

"Well you know," I spoke in a low and sexy tone, "I absolutely love this restaurant that's a few blocks down from here." I took a few steps forward until my chest met his. I lightly pressed the sole of my shoe into the top of his shoe. His foolish eyes were dead set on finding some hint of cleavage, but I had something much better in store for him. "But I must warn you," I grinned deviously, "I'm quite the _heavy_ eater." 

Adding a bit of my power into my feet, I stepped onto both of his shoes, his face contorting into an expression of pure pain and agony as he struggled to breathe under my super strength. Oh, the innovative ways I learned to use my powers to beat up the kids who bullied Eren! Everything was all muscle memory from here. I made sure to balance my weight evenly, not enough to break the bones in his foot but enough to make him _feel_ like they were going to shatter. Just as I was about to add a bit more weight that could have possibly broken the floor boards below, I caught of whiff of something that always seemed to spell trouble for me.

Levi.

"Stop fooling around, Cadets. _______, go to the apartment and get ready," Levi ordered. His hardened glare practically glued itself onto me until I finally conceded. 

Rolling my eyes and muttering a couple of curses, I jumped off Jean's feet, relieving him of the painful pressure. 

"Ouuuuccchhh!!!" Jean cried as he knelt down to hold his assaulted extremities. His upper molars clenched over his bottom lip as he held in a whimper. 

"Sorry about my roommate," Connie apologized, as he stared back at the sorry state of his buddy.

Before I could respond, Horseface neighed -- I mean, butted in. "Wait, that was the captain, wasn't it? What did he mean by 'the apartment'? Doesn't he mean, 'Go to _your_ apartment?'"

Huh. Oh yeah. "I guess I should have mentioned earlier since you guys are roommates. Well, that's _my_ roommate." 

I smirked at their deadpan expressions. A little white lie wouldn't hurt. After all, we did practically live right next to each other. Apartment-mates. Yeah, I think you could call us that. Plus I slept in his bed last night. You could practically call us lovers. 

Just kidding.

But they didn't have to know that. Jean stuttered for words, mouth agape as if the earth had stopped spinning. Connie carried a matching expression. Satisfied with my work, I ran over to Levi who casually flicked my forehead. And the two boys were left alone to draw whatever sort of illusions they desired based on what they had just learned. 

Jean turned to Connie, who was about as confused as him too. 

"Holy shit. I was hitting on the Captain's girl?!"

\----------------

Monday, 2 pm

Well, so much for talking to Petra today. In the past 4 hours, I had learned absolutely nothing about the situation past what Erwin told us this morning. Instead, I was given menial labor with loading a few trucks with weaponry and such. Just what exactly were these titan beasts that we needed heavy artillery? Were they an army of some sort? And why was the city so peaceful when it seemed like the Survey Corps was preparing for war?

I peered upwards to confirm it. The sky had cleared up, and only puddles remained to serve as remnants of the storm I woke up to this morning. The sky was still blue. There was no bloodlust in the air. Beyond the gates of the Survey Corps headquarters, which was designed as a hotel as a cover up, I could still near the city noises, truck horns, constant chatter, shop owners advertising their goods. Nothing on the outside felt different, but within the SC boundaries, the tension was much different as soldiers prepared for what seemed to be an all out war. 

It was still strange how the general public had no knowledge of power users. I knew my parents had always hushed me up about using my strength, but at the time, I had been too young to ask why. And when my mom died and my dad disappeared, it was too late. Now that I had found people like me, I took the opportunity to question Hanji about it about a day ago. She explained back in the late 1600s, a handful of people miraculously gained powers from some unknown source. As these power users grew in population, the normal townspeople began to turn against them, fearing that the power users would abuse their abilities. Thus, the townspeople raised arms against power users, burning them at stakes or drowning in lakes, and ever since, the existence of power users went into secrecy. The real stories of power users and how they were persecuted were transformed into what is now known as the Salem Witch Trials, a period of time during which people were accused of witchcraft and wizardry and were murdered. Due to no substantial proof that powers ever existed, current scholars considered the heinous event in history a result of people's unsupported superstitions, sort of like a Ghost Busters show or something. 

Well, I guess now I knew where that tidbit of history originated from. 

The Survey Corps was created for the purpose of keeping powers a secret from the general public, and then they slowly became a sort of police for users who abused their abilities. Ah, there was still much more that Hanji wanted to tell me, but eventually her voice drowned in the depths of my sleepy conscience. 

"We're moving out soon!" a high-ranking squad leader called out. "Cadets, go to your assigned transportation vehicles!" 

I nodded and threw the last bit of artillery in the truck before looking for my assignment. Truck B4...there! I walked up the rail and sat towards the far corner of the heavy metal bench on the left side. Slowly, more and more unfamiliar faces shrouded by the green Survey Corps cloaks began to load the truck. Ugh, normally I would have at least attempted to introduce myself, but I wasn't entirely keen on making new friends after meeting Horseface this morning. 

"_______!"

Oh, well speak of the devil. 

Connie and Jean had just entered the truck when Jean's attention locked on me. I audibly grunted an "oh my god" as he made a mad dash to slide into the empty space next to me. 

"So how have you been----? Agh!"

I shoved him aside and patted the now empty space for Connie to sit. A wide grin on his face, Connie took Jean's former seat next to me and we both snickered at the disheveled mule before us. 

"What the hell was that for?" Jean muttered as he brushed his knees off and took the seat on Connie's right side. I stuck my tongue out from Connie's left. 

"For invading my personal space obviously," I answered with a smirk planted on my lips. 

A higher-up closed up the back of the truck as almost 20 vehicles set out to travel to the "walls." Apparently, these walls were in the far outskirts of town, about a 4 hour drive from the Survey Corp base is what I heard someone say. The inside of the truck was dark, save for the tiny bit of light that shone from the small, rectangular windows above us. Shadows of light illuminated the floor as the we moved through the city, large buildings or trees blocking the sun rays every so often. My head rested gently against the wall as the warmth of the transient rays hit my forehead and soothed me into a deep slumber....

\----------

Monday, 5:30 pm

"Hey, psst. Hey, _______. Wake up!"

"______, I have a potato if you wake up!"

"Ughh, who likes to wake up to a potato?" I moaned lightly as my head turned the other direction. 

"Sasha," Connie answered as he waved his fist around my face as if he were holding a fake potato. He then proceeded to describe the many potato dishes he knew of. 

Jean nudged Connie in the gut. 

"Ouch! Jean! What the hell?" 

"_______ isn't Sasha, stupid." Jean took a pen from his jacket pocket and poked my nose with it repeatedly until I finally gave up blindly swatting it away and opened my eyes. 

"Morning, Horseshit. What the fuck can I do for you today?" I barked. 

"Whoa, hold the fire, darling. You're going to need that energy to deal with the titans tonight," Jean said as he held his hands out in front of his chest, as if that would protect him from my wrath. 

But wait. Titans. 

"So." I leaned in to whisper to the two boys, a hand cupped over my mouth. "What exactly are these titans? No one has told me anything yet."

Jean's eyes widened with shock. "What? You still don't know?"

"Eh? Is it something obvious?" I questioned, returning an equally surprised expression.

"_______." Connie's voice was so low that it almost reminded me of when we first met at the grocery store. "Titans are dangerous. If you can't fight them, avoid them."

Jean's eyes widened with initial shock as he stared at the smaller male. A dark shadow almost immediately concealed his gaze. With his shoulders hunched over, Jean rested his arms over his knees. "So you've lost people too, huh?" he said to his roommate.

Connie nodded, his body stiff.

"Yeah."

He sat back, his head raised to the ceiling of the truck as he just stared, stared with a sort of empty void. And I instinctively knew that look like the back of my hand; that was a look of _loss._

"When I was a kid, my mom used to be part of the Survey Corps. One day, she had to leave for a mission and so I asked her about it. She said there was some guy who betrayed the Survey Corps and was now killing the members and turning them into these giant zombie creatures. She told me to stay inside and wait for her, the same stuff she told me on nights she went out on missions. But this time, she didn't come home."

I already knew that words were useless to try and soothe his pain, so I kept my mouth shut and let him continue.

"The next day, some Survey Corps members knocked on my door and handed me a patch that was stained with my mom's blood. She had been turned into a titan, and the Survey Corps finished her off before she took too many lives."

Connie's hands gripped at fabric of his pants. "They couldn't even bring back a body...I hated them. Someone offered to take me in, but I ran to foster care instead and that's where I met Sasha."

My hand reached out to touch Connie's shoulder gently, but Jean beat me to it, his arm extending to rest on his friend's thin shoulder. His movements were so fluid, natural perhaps because he had witnessed a similar pain.

"It wouldn't have mattered either way," Jean admitted. "If she hadn't been turned into a titan, she would have probably been eaten by one. That's what titans do. The titan creator can kill you and turn you into one of his titans, or his titans just eat you."

I leaned over to look past Connie. "Is the titan creator coming out tonight then?"

He shook his head in response. "Commander Erwin has been trying to draw the creator out from behind the walls, but he hasn't shown in a while," Jean replied. "And until he does, we can't stop him from trying to kill our soldiers to add them to his titan collection unless we go past the walls and invade titan territory."

"Wait, so what are the walls?" I inquired.

"The walls are a sort of fence that keep only the titans inside, like a barricade almost or a cattle pen. Some crapass smart scientist Survey Corps member created it. It's like an electromagnetic field almost, but it's repulsive force comes from a chemical that is used to constantly reinforce weak areas of the field."

"So then do the walls block the titan creator too?"

"No. Just titans...but," Jean continued. "There's not enough chemical left. Eventually, the walls are going to weaken to the point where the titans can just smash through them. And once that happens, who knows what the titan creator will do?"

He looked at me, eyes enlarged with an appearance that made my muscles tense. Jean quickly regained his composure though.

"The titans are only active at night. For this mission, the walls was cracked in several locations. The Garrison troops, the ones who reinforce the walls with the chemical, aren't going to be able to repair all the walls in time before nightfall. And there's no doubt that the titans are going to break through tonight. But when they do, we need to be ready for them and keep them busy until dawn. The sunlight makes them weaker and they'll retreat back inside the walls to find caves and other places to avoid the sun."

"So then all we can do is defend? We can't kill them?"

"No, you can still kill them," Jean clarified. "Their weakspot is in the back of the neck. For power users like us three who don't have abilities that allow us to slice or shoot at the titan's nape, the Survey Corps will give us special shotguns that Squad Leader Hanji made."

_Guns. Titans. Walls._

"Hey, ______," Connie suddenly said. Have you ever fired a gun?"

_Aim for the nap. Defend the Walls. Fight until morning._

I shook my head and answered, "No, I haven't."

_And if you see the titan creator,_

"I'll teach you."

_Run._

\------------

Monday, 7 pm.

The gunmetal felt cold against my hip while the extra cartridges dangled by my belt.

Up above, the sky glowed a translucent blue, the sun having almost set beyond the horizon. Minutes. Only minutes remained until the titans would breach the walls.

I didn't feel ready. 

They split us up. I was put into a group led by Levi, the members consisting of Eren, a short, blonde boy named Armin, and myself.

Meanwhile, Mikasa was put in charge of leading Jean, Connie, and Sasha.

There were obvious protests, but Erwin shut both of us down. Mikasa and me, that is.

"_______!" she called out towards me before I could return to my assigned squad.

"What do you want?" I said with a sharp disgust in my tongue. "Erwin already said we can't switch groups, otherwise I'd be more than happy to."

Ugh. The eyes she stared at me with, those eyes of pity. I detested them. I didn't want her care or her concern. I just wanted to get this shit over with. And so I turned away only to be jolted back in place.

I looked down at my forearm to see her cold, long fingers wrapped around the limb. Grunting, I jerked my elbow away.

"______, I never meant to hide the Survey Corps from you," she spoke. Her voice was low and calm, never rising or falling from a certain pitch. But mine was wavering. I couldn't contain my fury anymore.

"Why the hell would you hide something like this from me? You know how much I hated having these powers. I've felt so fucking alone for the past 3 years, ever since my mom died. And you never once mentioned that you were like me? Do you know how many times I never even told you about my feelings just because I assumed you'd never understand me? Do you?!"

A fiery heat of wrath just inflamed my body. Did I care how her hard eyes softened when she looked at me?

No. 

Did I care that the regretful face she was making almost made my stomach cave in?

...... 

She had to know that I wasn't going to take this anymore. I couldn't deal with the constant lies. How many times did I need to be broken by the world until she was satisfied?

"______, you're not going to like what you see when the titans arrive," Mikasa warned. "If something goes wrong, come to me." She tried to reach out again but I backed away to avoid her icy touch.

"No, Mikasa," I said sternly, but my expression couldn't mask my wavering voice. "Commander Erwin and Captain Levi are the only people I report to. You're not my mother, and you're not in charge of me."

I turned to leave.

"______!" Mikasa yelled.

I paused but didn't turn around.

"Erwin isn't someone you should trust. He brought you to the Survey Corps for a reason, and if you aren't careful, then something might happen."

Was she telling the truth? Or was she just telling even more lies? I didn't know what to believe. Was her concerned voice enough for my hard shell to crack?

"Then I guess I've dug my own grave."

I guess it wasn't.

I joined the group and we set out towards the south wall. As we traveled around the perimeter, I peered beyond the translucent, purple force field. Small bouts of electricity sparked through the currents, but there was still nothing in sight except for a few trees.

"We're here," Levi spoke as the four of us stopped. In front was the large 20 meter wall we had been assigned to defend. The electric field was dotted with cracks that looked like spider webs and glowed an iridescent purple hue. Small shards of light showered from the cracks, disintegrating before touching the ground.

The glowing field was the only source light that illuminated our faces, enhancing the shadows of our contours. I caught Eren staring at me.

"What do you want?" I questioned harshly.

Eren wasn't phased. "Did Mikasa already tell you?"

\------

Monday, 7:28 pm.

"Hey Erwin," Hanji called as she replaced her glasses with a pair of goggles and tucked the case in her pocket. Both she and Erwin stood in front of the north wall, guns readied by their hips. "Why would you put Eren and _______ on the same team when there's clearly something between them that could compromise the mission?"

Erwin faced the wall, searching for movement behind it. "This mission depends solely on the two of them being together. I've already ordered Levi to make sure that those two don't get separated."

"Is this a prediction based on your power?" Hanji asked curiously.

"Hmph," Erwin smirked lightly. "Does that mean you've already figured out the identity of my ability? It seems like I may have made it too obvious for you."

\---------

Monday, 7:29 pm.

60 seconds. Until true darkness set upon us.

45 seconds. Until the walls fall.

30 seconds. Until all hell breaks loose.

20 seconds. Until I shoot a gun to kill for the first time in my life.

10 seconds. Until I truly realize what I got myself into.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

"They're coming," Armin whispered, using his ability to sense all moving things within a certain perimeter. "I can feel two of them charging at us."

4.

Almost instantaneously, the ground began to shake with an immense force. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

3.

A nauseating feeling made my intestines twist on each other. It was like that gut feeling that turns you inside out, that feeds into your anxiety before your worst nightmare comes true.

Beyond the wall, two pairs of large, beady eyes stared into mine, faces with the grinning expression of a puppet, bodies almost 15 meters tall. My hands trembled involuntarily, not from fear but from the surge of memories that suddenly stabbed my heart.

3 years ago, there was a strange man who showed up at our doorstep. His presence was followed by loud thumping, and then...a crash. 

I stared back in disbelief as the titans rammed into the walls of the force field. The webs of cracks spread wider and wider until they connected with each other. The sight was like a mosaic of various shades of purple glass, a beauty that was on the edge of shattering.

2.

I reached for the gun in my holster, shakily bringing it in front of my chest with both hands. Arms extended, I pulled the lever to cock the gun.

1.

At the sound of the click, one of the titans rammed into the wall and broke through the wall. Large, glowing shards descended to the ground. As the pieces hit the floor, the titan charged straight at me.

With my gun at eye level, I waited in plain sight, like an arrogant prey purposely agitating its predator. But alas, I was never the target. I was the hunter. The vibrations grew stronger, a voice yelled for me to shoot.

And so I did.

I pulled the trigger and greeted the beasts that ate my mother 3 years ago with a

Bang.

\-------------

The taste of revenge was a bittersweet thing. No matter how many died at my hands, it was never enough. I thirsted for more than just shedding blood. I wanted torture....

No, wait. This wasn't me. I already knew there was no light at the end of this tunnel. Constantly trying to fight against the world...it's insane. The more that were killed, the greater that hunger grew, only to be temporarily satisfied with more deaths. A cycle of killing and despair. That was Eren's life, not mine.

And how could I have been so stupid? I forgot who titans were. They were former Survey Corps members who had been killed and zombie-fied. I knew who the real enemy was, the titan creator.

My body paused as a hand swept over my mouth. That's right. I was killing people, normal people, good people. They had families, like Connie's mother, and had fallen victim to the titan creator.

My other hand suddenly fell, the gun barely hanging from my lifeless limb. I had momentarily lost the will to fight.

A thick hand cast a shadow over my body as I peered up to meet leather-like skin. Before the weight could squash me, a wind blew in my face and I was about 30 feet away.

"What happened?" Levi questioned as he set my body down. As my feet touched the ground, I gripped tightly onto the gun.

"Nothing. Just...don't worry about it," I answered, looking over to Eren and Armin who successfully shot another titan in the nape.

Eren...I had confirmed that he didn't have any abilities. Armin was a sensor-type, but Eren was powerless save for the gun in his hand. The fact that he had survived so far made me question...what else about my brother did I not know?

Every large hand that swept by him choked me. Every "near miss" made beads of sweat drip down the sides of my forehead. God damnit, I thought I had resolved myself to not care anymore. But I still cared unfortunately. I think I could finally understand his need to kill titans. Our parents left us with an empty void to fill. Eren had found titans, and I hadn't found anything until now.

"Captain Levi! I can sense a titan in our range that escaped from the Southwest Wall!" Armin yelled as he shot the last of the titans in the vicinity. "There are at least 5 titans that are going to charge in from our wall within 2 minutes. Should we send someone after the one that escaped?"

"I'll go," Eren declared. Levi seemed weary of letting Eren off on his own, and I spoke up before I could even think.

"I'll go too," I offered.

Levi looked to us both. "Fine," he said as his gaze set on me. "Take care of it and head back."

"Yes sir!" we responded. Eren head off, and I turned to follow, just momentarily catching Levi gazing towards me. Our eyes made contact as I tried to read his expression. But he simply turned away, leaving my curiosity unanswered. Rushed for time, I followed suit.

I caught up to Eren as we ran towards the location Armin gave us. He faced forward while I peered around us in the periphery. Screams from the far left suddenly filled my ears. My eyes widened at the sight of the source, a Survey Corps member about to be eaten by a titan. I probably couldn't have made it. And I didn't.

Blunt teeth broke her body in half. Almost immediately after, a shot was fired and the titan fell, its body beginning to disintegrate.

"That's how they ate Mom," Eren spoke in a low voice. He hadn't bothered to look back, his eyes focused on what was in front of him.

No other words were shared between us, not until a titan appeared in our line of sight. Wait, there were several shadows in the dark moving.

"Shit," Eren muttered. "The squad at the Southwest Wall must have been wiped out. We can't go back to Captain Levi. We're going to have to go to the other wall if there's no one defending it from titans."

The current Eren was so focused, unlike that snot-nosed brat I had known as a child. I couldn't tell who was the older sibling in this situation, him or me?

"You take care of the two on the left, I'll take the right."

I was hesitant to leave his side. I even almost said "be careful." But I stopped myself. Eren didn't need my protection. He had grown up without it for the past 3 years. Why did he need it now?

I just needed to keep telling myself that.

My fingers wrapped around the gun at my side once again as I pulled it out and charged at the targets. Their long limbs reached out for me, but I dodged them and jumped onto a hand, running up the arm of one of the titans towards the shoulder. The other arm of the titan attempted to swat me away, but I dug my feet into the skin and allowed the strength to surge through my body into my fingers. I closed my fist and twisted my hips forward, meeting the giant's hand with my own. His hand was sent flying back.

I continued running up the arm until I made it to the clavicle and ran around the neck. As I shot, the titan let out a howling scream as he fell to his knees. I held onto the strands of his hair to keep from falling. A burst of steam fired from the sight of the gun wound, forcing me to jump off its body once I was close enough to the ground. Feet on the floor, I steadied myself. Facing the back of the second titan, I aimed carefully and hit the nape. 

All that was left were Eren's titans. I spotted my brother facing off against two other giants as he dodged their grabbing fingers. It was alright. He had this under control.

But then another set of loud thumping alerted my ears. Two more titans charged towards Eren, a total of four titans now surrounding him.

Horror. That's probably the only word I could use to describe what I saw as a hand caught Eren in its grip. My body moved without thinking as I stomped on the ground and used my strength to crack the earth open slightly. The newly created different levels of the terrain forced the four titans off balance as he dropped Eren.

Eren held his torso up on his elbows, coughing a bit of blood. "Ah, shit," he muttered as he grabbed his side.

I knelt down, my hand on his back. "Are you alright?"

"Ugh, it broke a few of my ribs. Shit. Those two titans came from the Southeast wall. Two squads down...we're fucked," Eren admitted. His clenched fist smacked against the ground. "I can't die here. I need to...."

Avenge our mother?

I needed to calmly assess the situation. We needed to regroup, and Eren needed medical attention. More blood spurted from Eren's mouth as he coughed aggressively. The titans began to get up again, their eyes locked on the two of us.

"Hey Eren," I started. "Levi and Armin are still at the South wall, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Go there. I'll take care of the titans here until backup can make it."

Eren grit his teeth in protest. "Hell no. There are titans gathering in this place from both the Southeast and Southwest walls. You'll run out of ammo before you even get to half of them!"

I stood up, eyes peering down at my brother. Dark red blood dripped down the side of his mouth. "You want to live, right? So that you can take revenge?"

Eren stared at me in shock, but soon after, his eyes narrowed. "I'd rather not be in debt to someone."

"Then don't consider it a debt. I'm doing it for myself."

'That's right,' I thought, as I ran away towards an open area and ignored Eren's shouts. I aimed a shot in the air. I was doing this for myself. I was selfish. I hadn't taken care of Eren for 3 years, and now that I was reunited with him, I suddenly thought it was my god-given right to protect him?

"God damnit." A titan lunged at me, but I dodged to the side as its body fell to the ground. Jumping on top of its back, I shot once at the nape.

What nonsense was I thinking? Was I doing this out of obligation as his older sister?

Another two titans met the same fate as steam erupted from their fresh wounds.

No. It wasn't for that reason. It just seemed like every time I looked at Eren, no matter how many things had changed about him, I saw my little brother. It made me feel as if he hadn't lost himself completely in revenge. He had merely ventured on the wrong path. And I saw hope that his path could be changed, the same way I had found a way to change in the Survey Corps.

The remaining titan charged towards me, a wild look on its face. I waited for him.

Is this what love was? Self sacrifice? Wanting someone to live on? Wanting that person to be happy? I left Eren to fend for himself because I didn't know how to face him after our mom's death. What Eren is today...I could have prevented it.

I just want to do something right for once in my life. 

I readied my gun as the titan rushed forward, aiming to shoot.

"Look out!" Eren yelled.

Another titan rushed in from the side, its leg making impact with and forcing my body almost 30 feet into the air. A loud slam jostled my bones and inner organs. I tried to pry myself from the ground. But my body was too damaged and I fell, laying still on the ground as the two titans hovered above me.

"Shit!" Eren shouted as he limped towards me and shot at the titans. He threw a flash grenade, temporarily blinding them as he knelt by me.

"______! ______!" he called. 

Ah, his voice sounded like an echo in my head. He seemed so worried, his voice trembling the same way it did 3 years ago when he called for me to wake up. I felt his fingers dig into my shoulder, my head bobbing violently until my ear pressed against a warmth, hardness.

Lub-dub. Lub-dub. 

Warmth breath and hot tears fell onto my face.

Eren, why are you sad?

His choking sobs filled my ears. I wanted so badly to reach out to him, but my muscles were paralyzed.

Everything is going to be okay. I'm here for you.

These words...I wish I could have told him this at the hospital before my grandparents filled his head with lies and blamed me for our mom's death. But I had been too scared...because in reality, I did think I was at fault.

I didn't know how to face Eren back then, but maybe if I had said these words, we could have worked this out together. Maybe we could have been happy, could have celebrated birthdays together, could have walked to school with each other, could have eaten with each other, could have found some sort of comfort in each other with the loss of our parents.

I don't regret protecting you, Eren.

You're my little brother. I love you.

A bright light flashed before my barely open eyes. And then, everything went black.

\--------------

The titans charging towards Levi and Armin paused in their tracks as a shout of a titan reverberated in the air. They suddenly became filled with a new objective as they ran past the two Survey Corps members.

"What's happening?" Levi uttered in pure shock as he watched the titans ignore him. "Armin, can you sense other titans?"

"Sir! I can sense the presence of titans from all areas of the wall gathering in a specific location," Armin reported. "It's the same place where _______ and Eren are!"

"Shit. What the fuck is going on? Armin, come here. We're going to transport to the location."

"Yes sir!"

Levi grabbed Armin's arm and closed his eyes, focusing on the location to transport to. Their bodies disappeared from the South Wall and re-appeared in the location Armin had spoken of. The two spotted several other Survey Corps members standing still.

"Erwin, what's going on?" Levi asked as he found his superior.

Erwin nudged his chin downwards as Levi followed the direction of his line of sight. In front of them was a large 15 meter titan with black hair and green eyes. And surrounding that titan were several other giants.

A titan was fighting other titans, something completely unheard of.

"Who is that titan?" Mikasa questioned as she stared wide-eyed.

"I...sense Eren's presence emitting from the titan," Armin admitted in a whisper.

But there was no way. Eren? A titan?

"And I can sense ______ too. There!" Armin pointed out. "By Eren's left foot!"

"Captain Levi!" Connie called worriedly. "Can't you transport her out of there?"

Levi's breath hitched. 'She was still alive,' he thought as his nails dug deep into his palms. He stepped forward.

But a large hand stopped him in his tracks. Levi turned around, and Erwin shook his head.

Erwin's eyebrows tilted sharply over his eyes. "Don't Levi. We can't afford to take the risk of losing you to save _______."

Levi turned and watched as _______ laid limp on the ground. Her eyes were glazed with near death, and her body barely rose up and down with each struggled breath. She looked so broken to him. That was something Levi could never understand no matter how many times he had experienced it in the Survey Corps, how someone could be so lively at one moment and then still as death in the next. But Levi caught a small bit of movement. Her eyes gazed into his, a small smile forming on her lips.

It's okay.

Levi stood still, his shaking fists suddenly opening. Sweaty palms lay limp at his sides. Why would she have said that? Had the regret of not being able to save a comrade shown on his face? It was an inner turmoil he faced during almost every mission.

It plagued him -- the squad members who would naively trust him and put their lives in his hands only to be failed in the end when he couldn't save them from the wrath of titans.

Their screams, their shouts, and their cries would test his endurance, curse his sleep. But rarely did this pain ever show on his face, save for the bags under his eyes.

And yet, she says it's okay. It's okay if he can't save her. It's okay that she falsely believed she could put her trust in someone like him. She already knew that Levi was never a hero.

He was just a mere soldier with many regrets.

She whispered a small, "thank you" as unconsciousness finally consumed her. She laid lifeless by Eren's feet as he fought the titans that surrounded him, his sister's body being rocked by the constant thumping of the giants.

Observing from the sidelines, Erwin watched as Titan Eren bit through yet another titan's neck and effectively disposed of him.

"Levi," Erwin began as he continued staring at the mayhem before him, "we need to discuss plans for Eren after this is over. The Garrison is going to want to lock him up if he survives this. We need a way to keep Eren......Levi?"

Erwin turned to his side in the same location Levi had been standing just a moment ago. But there was nothing in sight except for empty space.

Startled, Erwin turned 360 degrees slowly, examining each of the faces of the Survey Corps members gathered around this titan fight.

With no luck, he turned to the battlefield. His eyes fixed on the two figures by Eren's legs.

"Damn."

\-----------------------------

END OF SMEXYNESS. 

Any questions? Comments? Suggestions?

Anyone curious about the titan creator? XD How about how Eren was turned into a titan? Only people who were killed by the titan creator can become titans....so is Eren dead? Is he a zombie? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

What's going to happen in the next chapter? Well, I guess you'll just have to find out XD I'll give some spoilers if you ask specific questions though ;)

Please let me know how this was! Thank you so much for reading and hope you enjoyed!


	8. Levi x Reader: Remind me to Breathe 8

Story Summary and Recap/Refresher are at the end! 

**Current.**

Two pairs of icy eyes stared upon the rampaging titan before them. Various amputated limbs flew past their heads, the air resistance causing their sunny blonde and jet black locks to flap near their ears wildly. And yet, unlike their terrified subordinates who ducked and dodged and crouched to the ground, these two stood still side-by-side as though they were brothers-in-arms, the shadows cast behind them a symbol of companionship among destruction.

Oh, what a misunderstanding.

These two men's glares were cast to their front but meant for the one beside them. 

"You weren't supposed to get attached to her." Erwin's words loomed over Levi's shorter figure, but the smaller man showed zero fear towards his Commander.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have damn put her under my guard," Levi hissed back, an ominous shadow forming over his eyes. "Don't pool me in with you and Hanji. There's a reason you chose her as your successor. Both of you can give up all the damn lives you need to in order to reach your goals."

"And you can't?"

"I'm sure you're already aware. A death like that would be a choice I'd regret," Levi countered. His voice was low but sharp. "The goals I have, are goals I'll achieve by myself. That's why the goals of humanity are left to someone like you," he concluded, his eyes no longer focused forward. He peered up at his superior's blue irises as he continued, "because no one would be able to achieve peace for humanity by themselves."

"But you're fine with being one of the people I use?" Erwin questioned, his face a mask of a hardened stare. He had never stopped watching Eren's movements, his features unmoving and vision frozen in place.

"There are times I'll turn a blind eye to methods if a common goal is achieved."

"Hmph," Erwin smirked lightly, his eyes closing for a moment. "But you don't want to be the one using those methods?"

"I'm dirty enough. Any more and I won't be able to see myself in the mirror," Levi answered as he turned away from Erwin.

'Hmph, and I'm not?' Erwin thought as he continued watching Eren crush skulls and break necks. 

His unspoken question was reasonable. After all, between the two men, it was difficult to pick out the filthier. Levi was the sort of man to wear his dirt on the outside. Never mind his cravat or neat hair. The energy required to irk this man and reach the threshold of his control was minimal. Within moments, you'd reveal his wild, violent nature, a personality that could kill in seconds if necessary, a warning to all who neared him. Perhaps at the moment, the extent to which Levi unveiled his true nature was still less than his capabilities, however there was a constant aura of darkness that emanated from his being. A warning sign colored his eyes the same grey hue of dirty ice. 

But if Levi were compared to Erwin? Hm. Erwin was spotless, his eyes possessed by a clean icy blue, like the first snow that falls from the heavens, untouched by grass and soil. That dirt-less exterior however holds beneath it an intricate labyrinth of a mind, a mind fueled by pure determination and a mind capable of committing the deadliest of crimes to secure a future. Erwin was fighting for humanity but as a 'hero' or 'leader' of sorts who redefines limits, to be judged by the end result and not by his methods. Unfortunately, how far under Erwin had buried himself in grime was unknown to anyone due to his mask of perfection and pretty words. His methods left no tracks.

Alas, from a superficial viewpoint, it may have seemed like Levi was the filthier among the two. So far, no one had been wise enough, or perhaps daring enough, to dig further.

As the two of them continued watching the sight before them, the rising sun soon arrived, and all titans except for Eren began to retreat behind the walls to find shade or protection against the light which burned their skin. Survey Corps members took advantage of this and sliced open the titans' necks, effectively killing them in masses. Meanwhile, Eren's titan body began to disintegrate as the he fell on his stomach with a giant _thump._ The remaining Survey Corps and newly arrived Garrison soldiers crowded around the titan, watching as Eren's human body emerged from the neck. Mikasa rushed to embrace her step-brother but was soon pulled away by force. The Garrison had declared him a threat and imprisoned Eren to keep him under watch. 

The Survey Corps obviously argued against this, but as Erwin had predicted, the Garrison wouldn't release Eren without a certain condition to be fulfilled. 

\-----------

**2 days later.**

"I thought I asked you to watch over her!"

"I did. Why do you think she's even here right now? She was about to get squished under that brat's damn titan foot."

"What happened with Eren?"

"Erwin says the Garrison will only release Eren if the Survey Corps goes underground to retrieve more of the chemical to reinforce the walls."

"Wait, what? Why would that chemical be in the underground?"

"Seems like the Garrison fucked up and somehow it ended up in the wrong hands. No wonder the walls have been shitty as fuck, breaking almost 3 times a week."

"So what? No more chemical means no more walls, right? Won't the titans barge in?"

Levi shook his head. "Erwin said that the titan creator lost too many titans this time. He'll need to rebuild his army, so now is the best time to send a team to the underground to retrieve the chemical that was stolen."

With one hand on her hip and another hand on her forehead, Petra sighed with a large groan, the entire situation driving her to the brink of frustration. "So who's going?"

"I am. Eren is too important to the Survey Corps to not have his titan strength in our missions."

My ears ached from their constant chatter. I finally found my voice to interrupt. "Going where?" I asked with a ragged, tired tone.

My weak arm extended out to try and grab for something, anything, but my blurred vision made everything in the room twist as my limb slumped back beside my body. 

"Stop moving and get rest," that all too familiar feminine voice snapped at me. Petra. 

"Ugh, why do you have the worst timing ever?" I was too exhausted to even remember all the questions I was going to interrogate her with. What was one of them again? Oh yeah. Why did you sell me out to the Survey Corps? But that really wasn't my concern right now. More importantly, what was happening right now? What had happened with Eren? I think he had...turned into a titan? But what did that even mean? Titans were people who had died and had been brought back to life by the titan creator who morphed the original body into a giant ass zombie thing. Eren was still alive though when he turned into a titan. So how did any of this even make any sense?

Petra released a long sigh, fingertips pressed on her temples. "Every time. It's always a complaint with you," she reprimanded. "Itchy bandages last time? Well, I bought softer ones today," she said as she pointed to the white bandages around my arms. 

They were still kind of scratchy, but I held my tongue. 

"Next time I'll just make sure I'll _magically_ appear before Erwin scares the shit out of me telling me that you were injured in a mission to protect the walls. I bet you were acting like a reckless child again, weren't you? Of all things, really, ________, I thought the Survey Corps would teach you discipline with your powers but _nooo_. Instead, I hear that you approached one of the targets on a mission and he was wielding a knife. A _knife!_ " she repeated for emphasis. 

Petra rambled on and on as Levi sat back and curiously watched her scold me like a kid. I observed him from the corner of my eye, my ears cancelling out Petra's banter. He seemed amused, like a cat finding a new plaything. I wondered if he had ever been scolded by his mom before because with this just seemed to be an entirely new concept for him.

"______," she called my name, catching my clearly lost attention. "You need to _listen_ for once in your life. This isn't your little street turf, and this isn't your cage fighting. You're not fighting by yourself anymore. That's what what I was hoping this entire Survey Corps would show you. You've been fighting by yourself for so long, but now you have comrades. You have a family to rely on. I met your friends, Connie and Jean. They were worried about you. Why did you need to act so recklessly when you could have just asked for backup?"

Her voice lost the anger it held, as it faded away into hesitation. 3 years. That's how long I've known Petra. And never once had her voice ever sounded so lost. Where was that person I was supposed to yell at for not telling me anything about the Survey Corps? Come on, turn back. I need a reason to yell at you, something to justify the words that dare to leave my lips.

I forced my uneasy stomach to settle, these words begging to roll off my tongue and yet held back by a thought that I might regret them. But no, I'd been holding onto these feelings for too long. "I'm still mad at you. You should know why," I glared at her. 

Petra's entire body froze for a moment before she began to fiddle with the ends of her black pencil skirt. I noticed that the top few buttons of her dress shirt were undone, and her auburn hair was comparable to the innards of a pumpkin, stringy and untamed. She had clearly stayed up the night given her blotchy mascara. Had she been caring for me all this time? Ugh, my stomach suddenly felt queasy again. I could feel her healing aura circulating through the bandages, soothing the physical pain. So this was her ability. Healing.

Couldn't heal the emotional wounds though.

"Look, the cage fighting thing -- you would have destroyed half the city if someone approached you in public. I mean, look at what you did to the arena. You practically almost made it cave in," Petra stated bluntly. But this was simply her personality, straight and to the point. 

And she did make a good point. As much as I wanted to deny it, she was right. But I still wanted to retaliate even if it was childish. I still had so much pent up anger that I needed to let out. Unfortunately, a certain bald headed runt decided to poke his head through the hospital room door. 

"Oh! _______! You're awake. Uh....," Connie glanced left to right between Petra and Levi. "Oh, my bad. I'll just head out. Don't wanna disturb between you and your boyfriend and your....mother?"

"I am _not_ her mother."

"She is _not_ my mother."

"When did babysitting a brat turn into dating?"

"Uhh," Connie stuttered before waving his hand in a quick goodbye. "Anyways, get well soon!" The door shut quickly behind him. 

Petra slung her purse over her shoulder, having already dropped the "elegant and sophisticated" act probably the moment she opened her mouth. 

"Anyways, the cage deal was something Erwin decided for practicality," Petra continued, her voice now calm and collected. It flowed so smoothly that it almost made me sick. "And it wasn't my judgment call to make. If you want to dwell on this forever, I don't care, but you've found what you're looking for, right?" 

Why was she acting like she didn't care? Did she think I was stupid? That I couldn't see the purple under her eyes, the paleness on her skin, or the red on her sclera? I'm not stupid, Petra. You're doing a crappy job of hiding it.

I didn't bother to answer, only glared.

And Petra took this as her cue to leave. "I'm not needed anymore, so I'm heading out. Give Hanji my regards." She stretched her neck back, an irked frown on her face. "Thanks," she said to Levi and then she turned away.

As soon as I heard her high heels tapping in the hallway outside, I muttered lowly, "Why thanks?"

"For saving your ass," Levi responded, his legs crossed nonchalantly as his eyes scanned a magazine. "I've never seen anyone have the balls to mouth off or yell at Erwin, and yet she did both the minute he called her up to heal you and the rest of the wounded members."

My brows furrowed as I remembered just how Erwin had reduced Hanji to a crying mess because of the grocery shootout. To think that Petra had managed to take him on and walk away without mental injury....damn. 

"Why would she do that?" I asked. I had a feeling I already knew the answer. I just wanted to know if I was right.

"She was pissed that he hadn't told her that Eren was in the Corps and that he threw a newbie like you into a mission to protect the walls. I thought she was annoying when she bitched me out for not going easy on you during the cage fight," Levi said, "but she was like an unrefined gorilla towards Erwin. It was quite amusing actually." A sly smile transiently fell upon Levi's lips. The look in his eyes: pure satisfaction.

But I was less than satisfied. "I see."

Levi lifted his head from the magazine, stealing a glance at my expression. He got up from his chair and walked straight up to the side of the hospital bed I was sitting up on. "Are you still mad at her? She probably does care about that, even if she denied it."

Sure. "Well, I....Hey!" A sudden flash of red and yellow smacked across my forehead. I held the side of my head, a short, dull ache left in the area where Levi had just lightly whacked me with his magazine. 

"That just shows how much of a brat you are. Get off your high horse. What more could you want than someone who cares for you?"

"....I know."

"Listen, there's no certainty that we'll be alive tomorrow, that anyone will. Don't do stupid shit that you'll regret when someone you care about isn't there the next day."

"Yeah." I got it. I already knew that at this point, I was just a brat holding an unnecessary grudge. I needed to let it go. It'd take time, but I know she cares....

"And don't leave shit in my room."

"Yeah," I replied. "I mean, wait. What?"

Levi tossed a metallic object onto my lap. "I said, don't leave your shit in my room. You have your own cupboards and drawers. Use them."

My charm bracelet. Hesitantly, I slipped it on, turning my wrist to look at each charm. My eyes finally rested on the small key Eren had given me, and I took the small piece of metal between two fingers, stroking it gently. "Levi....Why did Eren turn into a titan?"

Levi sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Are you asking me to explain the mechanics or what drove him to suddenly shift? As of now, we don't know how he turned into a titan. As for what caused him to shift now, you should know."

Yeah. I already knew. It was me, to protect me. But why? Didn't Eren say that the all that was left for him was revenge? 

"And now he's in jail, right?"

"Yeah."

"He's such an idiot."

"There's a reason why he's called a suicidal bastard, though you might end up earning that nickname too with the way you both acted."

Ha. The nickname was appropriate. After all, I wasn't thinking about my life when I saw the titans surround Eren. I was thinking about my mom and reliving the horrors of that same sight 3 years ago...before I lost her. My mind kept swirling around thoughts about how much I'd regret not trying harder to build a relationship with Eren.

And I truly was ready to die, at least until I saw Levi's face. 

My heart rose just a tiny bit from the dark and cramped depths of my chest. The arms and legs attached to my torso didn't even feel like my own. That's how heavy they were. But I was still alive -- that's what I reminded myself, and I somehow managed to smile weakly as I looked up at Levi. 

"Does this mean I made the right choice?" I asked.

The newspaper that was rolled up in his fist was unwound as he released his grip. His head cocked to the side slightly in a confused manner. "What do you mean?"

Ah, I suddenly felt my heart pounce out just once. I wasn't sure what this feeling was...but it was uncomfortable. My fingers gripped at the bed sheets nervously as I garnered the courage to ask again. No, _state_ again. "I made the right choice by trusting you, Levi....r-right?" 

I diverted my attention from him and instead kept thinking back to how Levi looked when I was laying near Eren's rampaging titan. Everything had been out of focus except for his lips, his eyes, his jaw...I saw an expression in him that I hadn't seen before, so unbelievable that I thought I was dreaming. But of course, the pain that coursed through my body told me otherwise. I remembered seeing his pupils darting between me and the ground below him and then...a vacant expression as he stared at me helplessly. He was nothing like the hardened man he seemed to be right now. 

At the time, words escaped my mouth. My lips moved to say, _It's okay_. 

...It's okay? Who was I to say something like that? I wasn't his mother, and Levi was an adult, certainly with much more depth that I could ever embrace at my age. He was cold but blunt, serious but also amused with things that made me want to question him further. And for the first time yesterday, I think I saw....

regret.

I don't know. Maybe I was just making shit up. Who was I to know what regret was, other than the fact that it was all I felt for the past 3 years. But the weight of my regrets seemed minuscule in comparison to what I read in Levi's eyes. I knew the sullen face in front of me was a deeper reflection of myself. I just wanted to know why. I was strangely attached to this raven-haired man, whether it be because he was a black box or because I actively wanted to fill in the puzzle of his being. Or both, even the way the magazine curled in his hand again.

_Smack!_

This time, I had a permanent flash of red and yellow assaulting my vision as Levi continued pressing the cold, smooth paper into my face.

"Levi, stop!" My voice was muffled from behind the magazine that was being practically molded over my face.

The pressure of his palm disappeared, and the papers slid down my face, revealing my very angry glare (after I had caught my breath of course). 

He looked at me and nodded his head slightly. "That's a better expression," he commented. 

Better expression, my ass! "Geez, what kind of society did you even grow up in? You could really choke someone with that thing!" I said in annoyance as I flung the magazine over to the corner. Levi briskly walked to the crumpled mess and picked it up, meticulously smoothing out the bent pages.

Levi continued to focus on the creases as he replied, "I wasn't raised in your sunny society. I was raised in the underground. Your societal norms are...different from what mine used to be."

The underground? He had mentioned that earlier, right? The place he needed to go to get the chemical for the wall and save Eren?

But still. "So in the underground, it's common to suffocate people with magazines?" I asked, sarcastically of course.

"Depends on your preference. Most prefer knives over hands. Does the job faster." As it time froze, Levi's fingers stopped dead in their tracks as his eyes took on a more carnal look -- darker...and vicious. 

A sudden shiver stole my comfort. Saliva pooled in my mouth, and with much hesitation, I gulped it down almost soundlessly. Fear. My eyes stared upon him with fear, the same sort of intimidation I felt during our first cage fight. I guess I had seen such a calmer side of him that I forgot the violent storm within that had shoved me against the wall...twice. 

It felt as if he was receding to a dark cage, and I needed to get him out.

"Take me with you." 

Levi's trance broke as he cast his gaze upon me. His eyes held the same superficial apathy as before, and I sighed in relief, just barely audible. 

"What?"

I wore a stern face, though my inner emotions were a boiling cauldron of uncertainty and fear. "Take me with you to the underground. You're going under Erwin's orders, right? I'm coming too," I declared adamantly. There was something that worried me when he seemed to be talking about this place.

Levi's eyes shifted sideways with a deep sigh. "I didn't want to say this in front of _that_ woman, but Erwin already ordered me to take you on this mission as well," he admitted. His eyelids fell slightly, slight creases formed on his forehead. 

My arms felt caught in a net, for a reason that I should have put on the back burner considering Erwin had decided to put me on a new mission. Sympathy? Was that what Levi was showing me?

"But I had already guessed you'd want to go," Levi continued, hands crossed over chest. "You don't seem like the type to mull around and wait for Eren's release, right?"

I bit my lip, but the decision had been made long ago. How long was I going to isolate myself into a false pretense of happiness? I wanted to face my issues, my relationship with Eren and the mystery of our mom's death and dad's disappearance. It was time to stop running. 

"I'm not, and I want to see him before we leave."

Levi stood up abruptly and tossed the magazine over on the table, pages smooth and pristine. "I'll arrange for it," he said as he walked towards the door. 

"Hey, wait!" I called.

Levi threw a look over his shoulder. "What?"

His posture was nonchalant, a stark difference from the previous tension that heated the air around him. I wondered if going to the underground would bring more incidents like this....

"What kind of expression what I making?" I asked curiously.

Levi's stare was solid, as if he were completely soaking in each and every one of my words. "It was an expression I don't want to see again."

His words trailed off as he turned to leave. As the door shut, I couldn't help but think...was this meant for me specifically or for everyone? Moreover, what expression was I even making?

"Ugh. Men!" I groaned as I flopped back in the hospital bed. The charm bracelet poked against my wrist, but I had no desire to remove it. The pain reminded me that I was still breathing.

\------------------

**A few days later....**

The dust in this dungeon was unimaginable. Levi would have had a fit! Good thing I asked him to stay behind though.

_I wonder why he even likes to clean so much...._

Ack! I missed a step and almost went tumbling down until my hands found stability along the large, square-brick wall that ran alongside us. The Garrison guard only looked back to confirm I hadn't died and continued to lead me down a dimly lit stairwell to Eren's prison cell. 

How thoughtful.

One hand traced the bricks while the other tightened around my backpack. Once I had finished my business here, I planned to leave with Levi to the underground. Coincidentally, the Garrison had finally given me permission today to visit my brother. And it was a good thing too because I about had it with their vague answers.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though a long goodbye wouldn't be possible...but it wasn't necessary anyways. 

_Eren and I both see each other again after this mission._

That's the promise I made.

We finally reached the bottom floor as the guard walked towards a row of cells, all empty and dark except for one at the very back. I almost immediately felt a shivering anticipation encase my body with.

Eren.

A few steps ahead of me, the guard lazily took out his dark baton from belt slip and rang it across the steel bars of the prison, the dinging echoing throughout the hall. I grunted and held my hands to my ears, approaching the cell to see Eren sitting upright in his bed, hands folded over his knees. He seemed unaffected, most likely used to this sound.

"Mikasa, I thought I already told you not to----"

"It's me," I cut him off.

His head spun around, large, green eyes meeting mine. I was happy to see that there were no bruise marks on his face. Knowing his temper, I had expected him to brawl with the guards already. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm...going to be leaving for a while," I said hesitantly. 

Eren's gaze turned sharp. "Where?" His voice demanded with a serious tone. 

Now for the hard part. "I'm going to go on a mission with Levi. And I don't know how long I'll be gone...but I wanted to tell you something." I reached into my pocket, fingers falling upon cold silver. I tossed the bracelet over to Eren, who caught it skillfully in the air. 

"When I come back, let's go to our old house, the one where we buried that time capsule."

Eren's gaze hardened on the bracelet, as his fist encased the small key trinket with an intense grip. His teeth clenched against each other fiercely, and I could already tell what was to come next.

"What are you getting yourself into?" he shouted at me as he approached the bars. With one hand wrapped around the steel, he looked me straight in the eye, but I refused to back down.

"You're in here because of me. I want to fix---"

"I never asked you to fix it!"

"Yeah, well I never asked for any of this!" I screamed back, lungs depraved of the oxygen they so needed. Eren caught sight of my tension and stepped back to give me space. He only spoke after a few minutes.

"I never wanted you to get involved in this," he said with a low voice. "That's why I never told you. I asked Mikasa to keep it a secret also."

My tone matched his. "All I ever wanted was for us to go back to normal."

Eren stepped a bit closer, palm pressing against the bar more gently this time. "Same. That's why I thought I'd be able to forget the past by killing the titan creator, the person who killed Mom. I thought we could start over after that."

"Eren, I don't want you to be obsessed with revenge."

He glared. "I can't do that. How can you sit idly knowing that he's still alive? He might even know where Dad is!"

Oh youth. So joyful. So stubborn. 

But also right. There were too many mysteries surrounding our parents, questions that had plagued my mind and stole my night's sleep at times. I had settled for peace by burying the past, but Eren made me question, Was that truly the right thing to do?

Alas, I wasn't exactly mature myself. Even now, I still wanted some sense of superiority, that I was the older sibling among us. Eren and I entered into an intense staring contest, his eyes burning with desire while mine were fueled an itching need to slap some sense him. I held back of course. Wouldn't want to damage any walls.

"1 minute left!" the guard called from the stairwell at the other end of the hall. 

We both broke contact, and a sigh of frustration sounded from my throat. "Let's just sit down and talk about this when I come back."

I turned to leave, hands lying uselessly by my side. Had we even accomplished anything through this conversation? Bitter. Bitter were my feelings for this world and for all of its uncertainties. Life was moving so fast and yet, it felt as if I'd never be able to keep up. 

"Stay safe, ______."

I halted, heel just barely kissing the dusty floor. Was this even real? The way he said my name kept repeating over and over again in my head. It'd been so long...too long. I was too scared to look back and confirm if he really did care.

"Thanks," I whispered as I left. 

\-----------

I met Levi outside the Garrison headquarters. 

"Ready to go?" he asked from the driver's seat of his car.

"Yeah..."

An awkward silence filled the air between us as I entered from the passenger side. I adjusted the belt around my waist and chest. At the very least, this ride was sure to be more comfortable than the last time since I wasn't in cuffs.

Comfort however was really the last thing I was feeling at the moment. I just wished I could have spent more time with Eren, maybe said something different. Did I even say the right things? Make the right decision by not telling him that I was going to the underground? What would he have told me if I did? Would he have shown concern or none at all? My expression was tainted with distress, unable to hide it any further. 

A sudden warmth creeped up on my chilly body and I turned to catch the shadow of Levi's hand retracting from my arm. 

"Levi?"

He said nothing in response, only observing my face.

"Levi? Hey, Levi?"

He huffed and leaned into his seat, turning the keys to start the ignition. A pale hand raked through his hair, brushing the locks away from his forehead. I swallowed the sight of being able to see his face, free of shadows except the ones under his eyes. I was ogling, yet again.

"Do you enjoy calling my name that much?" His voice made my ears vibrate.

My cheeks heated in an uncharacteristic blush. It was an inappropriate suggestion, or perhaps an inappropriate thought on my part. Most likely the latter, was my guess. 

Levi waited for my answer, but I had nothing to say because admittedly,

_I do._

\------

END OF SMEXYNESS

Whew. That was a lot! Ideas and suggestions are always welcome! As of now, I have NO clue what's gonna happen in the underground! All I know is what's gonna happen when they get back and boy is it messy!

**RMTB Summary and RECAP:**

You were a high school student who had been living by herself for more than 3 years. You're not exactly normal. 

When you were 11, you gained powers of super strength, passed down by your mother. Though you had to hide your powers from outsiders, you, your parents, and your little brother Eren lived in peace. Then, when you were 14 years old, a man blew through your house with these giants accompanying him. He murdered your mother, and your father disappeared. Eren, a non-power user, was taken in by your grandparents but left you to fend for yourself, blaming you for their daughter's death. 

You had been living by yourself for 3 years now with almost zero contact with Eren. Instead, your mom's old friend, Petra has looked after you. She provides you access to cage fights to earn money and pay off your apartment rent. During one cage fight however, you encounter a strange raven-haired man named Levi, and the fight ends with you being enlisted into the Survey Corps. You find out that the Survey Corps are a police-like organization that acts in secret to ensure that power users don't abuse their powers in public. You're surprised to find out that Eren is already a member of the Survey Corps, intent on finding out who killed your mother and the mystery surround your father's disappearance. 

You learn that the Survey Corps also has the job of defending the walls that surround the territory belonging to a man known as, the titan creator. He is a power user who betrayed the Survey Corps for the sake of creating his own zombie army, and he murders Survey Corps members to turn them into giant beasts called titans. Luckily, his territory is surrounded by a wall, but lately, the wall has been growing weaker with time. 

During one mission to protect the walls from breaking, you discover after seeing these titans that these are the same giants who killed your mother. You're confused and distraught, and suddenly one titan breaks free and runs past your squad. Eren heads over to take it down, and you worriedly follow him as his older sister. Eren acts with brashness, and the cost is at your expense. You're injured at the titans are surrounding you both, but suddenly before you pass out from weakness, a bright light shines in your eyes. 

And Eren turns into a titan. The Survey Corps members watch as titans surround Eren and are easily broken by him. Levi sees your body on the ground near Eren's feet, about to get trampled. But Erwin orders him not to save you. In the end, Levi.....

:) Thank you for reading!


End file.
